I got this message on Whatsapp and just had to share it:
If you love reading good English:
Meaningful punchlines..
1. I'm a nobody, nobody is
perfect, and therefore I'm
perfect.
2. I've got to sit down and
work out where I stand.
3. If I save time, when do I
get it back?
4. Where there's a will, I
want to be in it.
5. I am free of all
prejudices. I hate
everyone equally.
6. Take my advice, I don't
use it anyway.
7. The statement below is
true.
The statement above is
false.
8. As I said before, I never
repeat myself.
9. Sometimes I need what
only you can provide:
your absence.
10. I wish there was a knob
on the TV to turn up the
intelligence. There's a
knob called brightness,
but it doesn't work.
11. Conscience does not
prevent sin. It only
prevents you from
enjoying it.
12. If at first you don't
succeed, skydiving is
not for you.
13. War doesn't determine
who's right. War
determines who's left.
14. Best way to prevent
hangover is to stay
drunk.
15. Doesn't expecting the
unexpected make the
unexpected become the
expected?
16. If your father is a poor
man, it is your fate, but,
if your father-in-law is a
poor man, it's your
stupidity.
17. I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
18. A bus station is where a
bus stops. A train
station is where train
stops. On my desk, I
have a work station...
What more can I say?
19. If it's true that we are
here to help others, then,
what exactly are the
others here for?
20. Since light travels faster
than sound, people
appear bright until you
hear them speak.
21. How come 'abbreviated'
is such a long word
22. Don't frown. You never
know who is falling in
love with your smile.
23. The best of proverbs:
Should women have
children after 35? No,
35 children are enough
24. Living on earth may be
expensive... but it
includes an annual free
trip around the Sun.
25. Your future depends on
your dreams, so go to
sleep!
26. Alcohol kills slowly,
so what?
Who's in a hurry?
27. Whom are you working
for? Same people. My
wife and kids.
28. Can you do anything
that other people can't?
Sure, I can read my
handwriting.
29. A drunk was hauled into
court.
Mister, the judge began,
you've been brought here
for drinking....
Great, the
drunk exclaimed. When
do we get started?
Hope you liked it.
YOU ARE READING
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