The borderline between light and darkness (Eng)

The insomnia

I had to quickly excuse myself and run away because I had enough for one day. I pulled out my headphones, pressed random choice and let myself get carried away by the text of a song. I shouldn't think about it right now. Amanda will interrogate me when I get home anyway. I should at least clear my head a bit.

When I arrived home, I went to nii-chan's room right away. He had headphones on so he probably doesn't want to speak to me. Like that would stop me. "Hey! Aleeeex! I have something IMPORTANT to ask you!"

I calmly listened to music when Amanda barged into my room and started bothering me. Of course she has to pry. I was pretty annoyed but I still took my headphones off and even though I knew perfectly well what she wanted to ask me, I said: "So what do you need so urgently?"

"I need to hear your opinion on Felix! After you left, I had a little chat with him. I think that you really have a chance so believe in yourself a bit more!"

"I don't really know what to think of him yet. He's still a Shadow, even if he doesn't act like one. But he saved my life and didn't judge me even when he found out about THAT. He's also easy to talk to. And I have to admit that he looks great. But I could never have a chance with him, he's totally out of my league. What's more, I'm a Guardian and he's a Shadow, nothing will change that." I don't really understand myself anymore. How could he mess up my head this much in just one day. Maybe I should keep away from him after all.

This might be the first time that nii-chan actually fell in love. I'm so happy! "Don't worry, I promise that I'll get you two together, even if it costs me my life."

I started blushing again. I don't understand how she can talk about this so openly. "But I already told you that Felix would never want to start anything with someone like me! I don't have a chance with him!" I don't think even Amanda can help me with this.

Why can't this guy believe in himself a bit more? If I could give him anything mine, it would be a piece of my ego. "If you're gonna be this shy, I'll take your phone and text Felix that you love him."

Oh god, anything but that. "Don't even think about it! At least he still talks to me right now." She's actually capable of doing that. I have to be careful so she doesn't get to my phone. "Hey, don't you want to go text your friends instead? I'd like to get back to listening to music."

He looks pretty annoyed, I should let it be. At least for today. "Fine, I'll leave you alone. But you have to promise me that you'll talk to Felix as often as you possibly can. Anyway, sleep tight, you don't want to have bags under your eyes."

"Okay, okay." She finally let me be and went to do her own thing. I don't want to think about it anymore but it won't leave me alone. I tried to focus on a song and empty my head but it didn't work. I had to think it over and over again long into the night until I could finally fall asleep around five in the morning.

Five minutes until the lesson starts and Alex is nowhere to be seen. I hope that he comes today. I would die of boredom without him. Ah, finally. "Hi, Alex. You look a bit green, are you alright?"

"It's nothing, I just couldn't sleep at night." I obviously left out the fact that I couldn't fall asleep because I was thinking about him. "Ehh... and what about you?" I don't really know how to act after yesterday. I started nervously staring at the ground and playing with the fabric of my shirt.

He's so cute when he's nervous. It's too much. But it's a bit weird, I've never thought something like this about a guy. Well, not like I've thought it about a girl. Oops. "I was getting worried that you won't come. I wouldn't have anyone to talk to."

"Don't worry, I can't afford to be absent on my second day. I just woke up a bit late." It made me a little happy that he wanted me to come. I was worried that no one would talk to me and it would end up the same way as on my old school where I was alone all the time.

"Alright, wanna go buy coffee after class?" He really needs some caffeine right now or he won't survive our two-hour computer science class.

"Yeah, I could really use some coffee right now. I feel like I'll fall asleep on the spot." I slept for about two hours and now I have a terrible headache. What a day.

The bell's ringing. "That's a pity, I wanted to talk for a while longer." I said goodbye to Alex and went to my own desk all the way in the back by the window. It's not so great right now that Alex sits in the first row. It looks like he'll fall asleep any moment now.

This lesson is so never ending. If I don't get coffee this instant, I won't survive until the end of the day. The only thing keeping me awake is our scary maths teacher. It's not humanly possible to fall asleep during his lessons. But I'm worried about our computer science class because I'll have to listen to the most boring teacher ever.

Only ten minutes left until the end of the class. This lesson is just so boring. I don't even like maths. I hope that I won't have to go solve this problem on the board. "Is there a volunteer? Felix?" I'm lucky that I already solved and checked this problem before because I would be here for a long time if I didn't. Only five minutes and then coffee!

The bell finally rang as with it came my liberation in the form of coffee. I quickly got up and went to our school canteen together with Felix. "Not that it helped much. I feel like my caffeine level is still on zero." But what did I expect from school coffee?

"You're right, instant coffee from the canteen will help you about as much as a sleeping pill." That's a pity, I thought that it would help him at least a little bit. He'll have to survive the double lesson now. "We should go, the lesson will start soon." Please, I want it to be the weekend already.

"You're right, we should hurry up. Not that I would mind if we came a bit late. It'll be long enough anyway." I have a feeling that I won't be able to keep my eyes open. We quickly moved to the classroom and sat down on our spots. Then the bell rang and our teacher came in.

The lesson took forever to finish and our teacher's monotonous voice didn't help. After around half an hour, I noticed that Alex was sleeping with his head on the desk. If the teacher sees him, he'll get in trouble. But he's too far away for me to wake him up. Why is it so quiet in here suddenly? "Is my lesson so boring that you're sleeping so soundly?" Damn it.

What happened? I'm totally out of it. Shit! I fell asleep during class?! And on top of it, the teacher noticed! I quickly started apologizing: "I'm so sorry. I couldn't sleep yesterday and now... It won't happen again." It doesn't seem like an apology will be enough. "That's nice and all, but you'll still have to stay here after school in detention. I can't let this be."