Reality Shmeality

Chapter Three

Mom grew up in a much different family setting than Dad. She was born in Hoboken, New Jersey during a snowstorm in 1956. Her father was a big-shot producer at MGM in Manhattan, and her mother opted to stay home to take care of her after having turned down the opportunity to model. Papa and Nanna were high school sweethearts who lived very different lives. Papa was a socialite who palled around with Marilyn Monroe and Nat King Cole, while Nanna preferred a more relaxed and private lifestyle. Papa was very concerned about what others thought about him and I'm sure it came from the fact that he was a self-made man, the classic rags to riches success story.

Papa's parents immigrated to America from Russia with nothing more than big dreams and the clothes on their backs. Nanna's parents were first-generation Americans whose parents moved from England and instilled a much more humble attitude in her from a young age. Nanna was unpretentious and a bit of an introvert. Even though she was always quiet, she admits that she was initially attracted to Papa's huge personality that he developed in high school. She believed at fifteen years old that he would go far in life, and she was eager to see him make it happen.

Papa's parents saved up money for over a year to be able to surprise him on his sixteenth birthday. They bought him a 1945 Kodak Vigilant Junior Six-16 folding camera. Papa nearly passed out when he opened the box. He had been obsessed with photography ever since he was a child, and he loved the idea of capturing a moment in time that could inspire future generations. He worked for his high school newspaper and told the editor that he planned on interviewing Frank Sinatra about his new show on Broadway. The editor loved the idea, though seriously doubted its possibility, and said he would happily put that on the front page if Papa could somehow pull it off.

Papa headed to the Broadway Theatre that same week with his camera in hand and walked right up to the press door. Back then, it wasn't common for a non-professional to have their own camera so security didn't think twice about letting Papa walk in, dressed the part of an experienced journalist. He schmoozed for an hour with the stage manager, Les, and ended up meeting Frank after the performance. Frank loved that a sixteen-year-old kid had snuck into the theatre and granted him the interview for the school paper.

Papa had a great eye for finding interesting angles and developed all of his photos in a tiny darkroom he built in his basement. Les ended up introducing Papa to all of the right people. He was invited to after-parties and became friends with a lot of Broadway stars and producers. Papa ended up making quite a name for himself in New York and was known as the Kid with the Eye.

The year mom was born was the year that Papa was promoted to Vice President of Production at MGM. Throughout the years to come, Nanna and Mom felt his absence as he worked late and mingled with celebrities. Nanna started to suspect that maybe he was coming home late for other reasons, and her suspicion was confirmed on Mom's eleventh birthday when Papa didn't come home and had been spotted by a friend of the family walking hand-in-hand with a famous actress in Manhattan.

Mom was devastated and Nanna entered a period of silence and withdrawal. Papa left and got an apartment in Manhattan with his mistress. He tried to keep in touch with Mom and thought sending her money and presents would convince her that he was still a good guy. Mom was too smart for that and didn't respond to the letters. She put all of the money he sent her into a shoebox that she would later donate to a children's shelter, hoping that his guilt money could at least help those less fortunate. He stopped sending letters on her sixteenth birthday and they wouldn't speak again until she was pregnant with me.

Nanna moved to Buffalo to stay with her aunt and work as a housekeeper for a wealthy family on Delaware Avenue. Mom dropped out of high school to pursue a career as a street artist, painting abstract portraits of people and trying to find commissioned work from referrals. It wasn't easy, but she was able to put some money away in hopes of going to art school in the future.

She stayed in Buffalo for a year before moving an hour east to Rochester to live in an artist co-op on Park Avenue. Mom spent three years painting to eat and pay rent while studying at Monroe Community College. She first obtained her GED before moving on to get an Associate's Degree in Fine Arts. She was the top student in her program and was accepted into the Fine Arts Program at the Rochester Institute of Technology on a partial scholarship.

She took her studies very seriously and worked on the side to make ends meet. One of her roommates was a manager at Green Street Pub on Monroe Avenue and offered her a part-time job as a bartender. She happily accepted. Mom had always been a knockout and that combined with her pleasant personality netted her high tips and lots of new friends. She had been working there for almost two years when Dad walked in the door on a Monday night in bell bottoms and a Lynyrd Skynyrd t-shirt.

"Good evening, I'm William, how are you?"

"Fine thanks. I'm Joy."

"Pleasure to meet you, Joy. I would love a cold Budweiser if it wouldn't be too much trouble."

"No trouble at all, William."

They chatted on and off throughout the night with smiles across both of their faces. They spoke about how they had arrived in Rochester and what they wanted to do in life. Dad was a bit quiet about his profession. He had learned in the past that some people thought he was either trying to sound cool or get in someone's pants if he mentioned that he was buddies with the biggest rock stars in the world. So, for the first encounter, he just said that he worked as an electrician. He always liked to take things slow.

Mom asked him to come back on Wednesday for her next shift so they could continue their conversation and he happily obliged. It was on that Wednesday night, in the spring of 1982, that Dad made the little Budweiser bonfire at the Green Street Pub that would change their lives forever. Mom came running over and doused it with a glass of beer. Dad was wearing a wig, sunglasses and a fake mustache as he looked up at Mom who was in disbelief that someone had done such a thing. Dad apologized and asked if he could buy her a drink for her troubles. She was furious and demanded he leave. At that moment, he ripped off the wig and flashed an innocent smile, something a small boy would do to get out of going to his room. Her anger quickly turned into a flirtatious giggle and they took their first shot together before he asked her to join him for dinner and a movie the following night.

"I would love to," said Mom.

"Wonderful. I'll pick you up at seven," said Dad whose heart was racing and palms were sweating.

Mom wrote down her address on a napkin, and he immediately walked out of the bar. He had learned from the pros that even though the crowd might want more, it is best to go out with a hit.