I have become a monster

Chapter one

hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts

My friends died because of her and I cannot do anything about it I was forced to join the remnants of despair, but I didn't want to

"Isn't Hope so annoying?"

I have been here a week and I have been being nice to people. But they are isolating me. Is it on purpose? What did I do? Should I try harder?

"We have made our decision."
"We're going to mock him"
"We'll just crush anyone that's Him happy , won't we? lol"

A month has passed and I have no friends still. Aren't they supposed to be openly welcomed? Things have gotten worse. The whispers are now regular talking voices. They don't care that I overhear. I have started to feel sick. I am getting rashes and my one eye throbs. I can feel my personality hardening, becoming crueler. It scares me.

I am the target.
Some people were gossiping about me.

I am constantly in pain. My heart has been throbbing lately and I feel overwhelmed. They are abusing me.

I have now been contaminated by bacteria,
and you won't be able to escape anywhere.
Recently my heart has gotten ill, too.
It hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts.

I think my sanity is wavering from the pain I am feeling. It is excruciating. Will it ever end? What did I do to deserve this? My vision is strange- now when I look at the remnants of despair l their heads are just chins and mouths. Mouths that never close. Mouths that never rest from the gossip...

Even though I want someone to help me,
I can't find even one friend to rely on.
Even though it feels painful and agonizing,
I can't find even one place to escape to.

I have nobody. I am nobody. I now look in the mirror and see a disfigured creature. I have claws and pincers, a bloody eye socket, a broken body, my heart is affected. I can feel the pain spreading.

Anyone and everyone was looking down on me.
Just what do you want from me...?
My heart is about to shatter into pieces.
Just where am I disappearing...?

I am becoming them. They are changing me. This affliction is making me cold and cruel. I cannot stop myself from lashing out at the world. I feel myself shutting down...

I want to take someone with me,
I want to infect someone else,
and I want to feel better soon.

Finally a boy has had enough. he comes forward to defend and help me. But I am past saving. All I see is a head that is more than a mouth, and a hand reaching toward me. I want to scream no, to tell him that my touch is contaminated. But the disease is now in charge. I grab hold and pull.

To the boy who has gently
reached out her hand to me,
I will say "I'm sorry" apologetically.

I feel slightly better now. I can feel some of the disease spreading to him . But I suddenly weigh too much for him to pull me up out of the clutches of the disease and instead I pull him down as leverage. I try to stop myself, but I am not in control. This is the disease. Or is it?

I have now been contaminated by bacteria,
and I can't believe you any longer anymore.
Recently even my common sense has gotten ill,
and I can no longer stay clean or pretty.

I am becoming the disease. It is changing me mentally as well. I am not sorry for infecting this boy if it means I am cured. The compassionate part of me is disappearing...

The bacterial contamination is spreading,
and you'll want to become stronger.
Even if I barely survive,
it will hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt.

What is this life? Why is this my fate? I have fooled myself into thinking that I could withstand it, that I could defeat it by infecting this boy . I am becoming a typhoid. There will soon be nothing left of me.

I have been contaminated by bacteria...

I am a shell of myself. There is almost nothing left. I will become nothing but the living embodiment of this disease. The boy is becoming disfigured like me. Others are feeling the effects of my disease. I look into the mirror and I look like the ones who infected me. I am becoming just a mouth. But the mouth is bloody and raw.

My bacterial contamination has healed,
and my feeling have gotten better,
all because I have given my germs to that boy .
Aha, aha, aha, aha, haha...

It is a miracle! The more infected the boy gets the more I feel better! I must make sure the disease eats away at her as much as it did myself...

I have now been contaminated by bacteria,
and my wounds would not close up.
Even if I kill myself by jumping the shortest height possible,
I still can't die a pleasant death.

The boy has been consumed entirely by the disease and the pain is creeping back in. My wounds are permanent scars... they do not heal. Why does this disease not kill me? I could end this myself but no matter how I die it will not be pleasant. Couldn't I have at least been spared a pleasant death? How unfair this life is...

The bacterial contamination is spreading,
and none of you is still alive.
In the end, I am all alone.

I have lashed out against the world. Now I am alone. No one is left standing. I shall stay here and rot until the bacterial contamination has consumed me and the world will be empty. At least now the disease will die with me. But does it really matter, when I have infected everybody and I now stand alone in this world?

It hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts.
It hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts...
It hurts.