YOUTH // Harry Styles

2

It's been a few days since Harry ran away from me and left me on the roof. I'm confused about that, but what can I do? I haven't seen or heard from him. I'm not going to waste time thinking about it. It was just all a bit strange. I needed to clear my head. I needed time alone. That's how I ended up where I am now.

It's about 3 a.m. I'm alone. I'm slightly confused. I'm also staring at this fence. I'm contemplating whether I should climb over it or not. If I do, I'm trespassing. If I don't, well, nothing happens. Of course I go against all common sense and pretend I don't see the signs. I climbed over the fence and jumped down. I headed straight for that little bridge I used to go to when I wanted to just relax and be alone. I guess it's another place to go apart from the roof. Occasionally someone would be patrolling the local street, but this place has been abandoned for years. Even if it wasn't, I wouldn't care.

Sometimes I feel bad because Sam and I agreed to stay out of trouble. Sam gave up everything for me. We're just friends, but he didn't want to see his best friend spiral out of control. Besides, it's not like I'm going back to my old ways. I just had to get away the best way I know how. What Sam doesn't know, won't hurt him.

I pulled out my phone to see a bunch of text from Sam and a few other nobodies. I'll deal with it later. Maybe. Sam probably wants to know my whereabouts.

Sam and I used to live together. We don't anymore. He's got a girlfriend and I can officially afford my own place here. I sort of miss sharing a place together. Sort of.

Today also marks the anniversary of my dad's death. As a kid, I was close with my parents. I thought they were perfect. Then things started to change. My parents started to change. I didn't know what it was. I couldn't tell. This brings me back to the kids making fun of me and me being a reject. I was the towns joke.

My parent's change didn't happen gradually. It happened all at once. I was young. I couldn't really take care of myself. I was still a kid. I learned quickly over the summer that I was now an adult and I had to do everything on my own. That's the way I had to survive. When I started middle school. I wore the same clothes. Many times my clothes would be dirty because I didn't have the money to buy detergent to wash. I learned how to hand wash, but after awhile it didn't matter. It's not the same.

My mom left while I was in middle school. My dad was normal for awhile after that, but that changed faster than my parents relationship did.

Half way through my seventh year, the kids started calling me "Crack Kid" or "Crack Baby" and I didn't know why. As far as I could tell, I was healthy.

After awhile, I stopped talking to people. My "friends" started to ditch me. They had a lot of excuses why we couldn't just hang out. Finally, they told me the truth. Their parents didn't want them hanging out with the crack kid. I was still so confused. I never did drugs. Ever!

The truth came out at the end of the eight grade. I finished middle school and graduated. No one attended my graduation.

I got on the school bus with the other kids who weren't graduating. People were whispering about me. Who goes to their graduation on a school bus? Well, I hadn't seen my dad in a few days. I reminded him all last week, but I knew that he stopped caring.

When the school bus arrived, I got off and walked straight to the auditorium. All the kids were dressed up in summer suits and dresses. I was in an old, holy Rolling Stones t-shirt and a pair of black skinnies with my black and white high top Chuck Taylor's that looked like they were falling apart. I know that I had the money to buy a cheap dress, but graduation doesn't seem important when you're trying to keep yourself clean, fed, and alive.

When I headed to the area where the teachers told us to line up, I was stopped. I was told that I was dressed inappropriately and if I didn't change, I couldn't walk. So, I did eventually walk, but this walk was a sad walk back to my house. I walked home from school. Home is at least a few miles away from school. It gave me time to be alone. This was also the day that I had completely removed myself from the rest of society. I just left the world alone and kept to myself.