Achieving Thermal Equilibrium | ac

17. EXTINGUISH

It felt nice to be free of her bloodlust.

Akari sat up straighter in her hospital bed and tugged her clean sheets closer to herself. Karasuma had been kind enough to pay for her hospital fees, saying it was his duty to do so. With support from her teachers and friends, Akari felt her strength return to her. She was a little unused to receiving so much genuine help and love from everyone, but it made her feel extraordinarily fuzzy and happy, as if she'd drunk a mug of hot chocolate on a cold winter's day. It filled her up and sent warmth trickling down to the tips of her toes.

Akari picked up a get well card on her bedside table, and fondly read the handwritten messages by her classmates. Kanzaki had given it to her after she came for a visit earlier. Kanzaki was surprisingly understanding of her situation, maybe because she also had to pretend to be someone else. Akari's lips quirked up in a smile. Gosh, she really didn't deserve her friends.

Speaking of her friends, Itona told her he was paying her a visit today, and he didn't disappoint. His face appeared to be as emotionless as ever, but Akari knew all too well that was just a facade. They had barely talked since she revealed her identity, and she knew he was coming over to fix that.

"You look better," he remarked honestly as he set down a cardboard box of cheese pies and a bottle of tea. Akari noted that he'd bought her salty food and the same type of tea she'd always served him.

"I do feel better," Akari replied rather awkwardly just to keep the conversation rolling. "Thanks for the food."

Itona plopped down on a stool next to her bed, and stared straight into her eyes. "I'll be blunt with you, but first of all, what should I call you? Kayano? Yukimura?"

"Either is fine." At that point, Akari almost felt like she could live her entire life being called Kayano Kaede.

"Alright. So, Kayano," he began, "when we were in Shiro's facility, how much of it was an act?"

Akari winced at how easily the question came out of his mouth. Itona wasn't lying when he said he would be painfully blunt. But by now, she could read Itona's body language with relative ease. He was rigid and his muscles were tense, plus his arms were laying stiffly by his sides. Despite his apparent nonchalance, Itona was nervous, and quite possibly, afraid. And Akari wanted to do nothing more but to comfort him, but she wasn't sure if she had that privilege now.

"I'll be honest with you as well. I was acting, but not in the way you think," Akari confessed. Itona regarded her with curiosity and mild suspicion. "Back then I had always pretended to be indifferent and aloof so I could conceal my true emotions and stop Shiro from taking advantage of me. You once said I was "savage", yeah? Basically, I was intimidating others in order to protect myself." Then Akari sighed and absentmindedly twisted her bedsheets with her fingers.

"I know what you want to know, Itona," she said quietly. "I never pretended to be someone else when it came to you."

Itona was silent, oh-so-silent. Akari slowly stretched out a hand. He didn't move, but she knew he was listening.

"All my care for you had and has been real and I'm not doing that to make myself likable or whatever. I care because I cannot bear to see you get hurt in the same way I did. I simply cannot." Akari inhaled. "I don't know if you believe me, but that has never been an act. Even after you left Shiro. The only time I had lied was when I told you I had removed my tentacles, and I don't have an excuse for that-"

"They asked you to, didn't they?" Itona said softly. "The tentacles, I mean. They made me stay with Shiro when you told me to leave. The tentacles make you do weird stuff sometimes. I understand."