Loving Her Again [Book 2 of Loving Her Trilogy]

04 | Earnest

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04
Earnest

"Mom, what's it like to be in love?" I asked. 

My mom smiled, "Why are you asking me that? May crush ka na siguro no?"

I chuckled when she tickled me, "No, mom. I'm just curious."

"Hmm, let's see. To be in love, huh?"

"Well, to be in love is like a euphoria."

"What's a euphoria?"

"Hmm, what makes you the happiest?" 

I think carefully before saying, "When I get to play outside." 

"Then, that happiness you're feeling whenever you're outside is way beyond that. It's too much that you feel like you're in a cloud nine."

Confused, "I don't really get it, mom."

She chuckled, "When you grow up, you will understand it."

"How in love are you with daddy?" as a curious child I asked what came into mind.

She was taken back by that question, "Your daddy..."

She thought of it for a minute before answering me, "I love your daddy way too much."

"Then, you are in euphoria." I concluded.

My mom smiled a little when I said that. Did I say something wrong? Am I asking question too much?

"Here's the catch, Joachim. You can only reach that euphoria when both of you are in love. If your love is one sided then only misery awaits for you." she said.

"But why? I still don't get it."

"You'll understand soon, Joachim. For now, just enjoy being a kid." she said as she gave me the warmest smile I've ever received.

"As for your present? What do you want for your birthday?" she asked.

As a kid, I really don't have any particular wants. I always settle for what is given to me. I don't demand things because I think it's selfish. That's why I always say, "Anything is fine, mom."

Mom, if you could see me, I've grown enough. Now, I understand what you mean.

But I still don't get it. Why is it so hard to have that euphoria? Can we just simply be in love and forget the world? I just wanted to taste that kind of happiness, because I really didn't get the chance to feel it ever since you're gone.

I don't think I can be in love when my heart is still mourning for my lost. I don't want to be left alone again by the person I love. I'm petrified because I feel like I don't deserve to be happy and that everything will be taken away from me.

Mom, if you could hear my thoughts, then help me overcome this fear. I don't know what else I can do for me to achieve it.

I tried to be in love but that was taken away from me. Like a bliss that was granted for me in a second.