Tequila Shots

Chapter 13

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely." - Charles M. Schulz

Samantha's POV

"How long till she gets back?" I asked, emptying the other half of balloons to be filled with air into the tray.

"Two hours," Rachel replied, not looking up from the table she was setting up in the corner of the living room.

"Hm... we don't have that much time. Sure we're going to get everything ready in two hours?"

"We have less than two hours by minutes... pretty sure we'll get a lot done if we don't talk though," she muttered.

"Got it," I chuckled and set to tying up already inflated balloons.

Rachel was a very good partner to work with. You could totally place a bet on her dedication and positive attitude to work and win. She was keen on perfection or at least something close to it. It amazed me sometimes. I was a perfectionist to an extent considering my kind of job didn't allow much room for mess-ups or errors but Rachel, on the other hand, practiced a whole different kind of perfectionism. It was like she had to get it right and get it on the first try. I knew writers were thorough and liked to polish their art till it was flawless.

We worked in silence for almost an hour, setting things up without getting in each other's way. I tied the ribbons to the balloons and just let them float up to the ceiling. I set some down on the floor and then I laid out the customized robes beside the candy tray Rachel had set up on the table. I stopped for a bit, with my hands resting on my hips, and took in the all our hard work. The room was finally coming together and only a few more things to check of our list before we were done.

"... Balloons, check. Confetti, check. Bride-to-be sash, check. Customized robes, check. Skin care items, check. Wine, check. Games, check. Candy tray, set up. Snacks, over there," I muttered to myself as I ticked things off the list but paused on the cake. We didn't have that yet. "Cake?"

"Yeah. Thanks for the reminder. Tara offered to pick it up from the store on her way here. I'd give her a call," she walked off to make the call.

Asides getting paid a good amount for my job, there was this happiness that came with seeing people in love tie the knot that made the whole process worth the while. Seeing the love in their eyes, the tears from overwhelming emotions, the serenity that accompanied a couple's first dance, the soft smile on the faces of their loved ones as they stared at love in human form, the warm congratulatory hugs and kisses. It was all so beautiful to watch and I just couldn't help but enjoy and appreciate every moment of my job.

Working as a planner was like a pacifier for my insecurities. It was foolish, I know, to calm my insecurities by watching other find happiness. It was stupid to use others as standard for what love looked like. It didn't help that love was unique to every person and I ended up having so many models that I began to find it hard to identify love for myself. I was infatuated with the idea of love that I just couldn't bring myself to loving someone for who they were. I only loved that they said they loved me. I didn't trust that what they felt was love because love wasn't supposed to be good so I would end things before it got any better. And for someone looking to settle down and build a family, it sure stirred up conflict on the inside.

My parents had loved each other but their love was full of so much sadness and pain. I grew up with that. Grew up with the idea that love wasn't something pleasant and there had to be hurt and pain, tears and shame for it to be called love. I just wanted this opinion to be proved wrong but I wasn't willing to let anyone come close enough to where they would break down my walls so I looked for it in others. I was scared of being hurt and having to accept it as part of the process so I always ended things before it got too deep. I felt empty inside and there was this longing deep down that I yearned to satisfy by watching others love. It gave me some sort of hope that in all of the uncertainty and chaos of life, love wasn't a facade. People found it in other people and it really was beautiful.