when breath becomes air // hxh

when breath becomes air

Gotoh is still just a regular Zoldyck butler when Killua is born. It's early July when Killua enters the world, three weeks late as if he himself never wanted to be brought into the world. A stubborn tiny being adorned with a crown of startling white hair.

It's then that Gotoh's suspicions first rise; the third child of the infamous Zoldyck family will be the heir.

: : : :

Gotoh is there when Killua takes his first breath, he's also there when Killua drinks his first drop of poison, falls in love and finds what he wants to do in his life.

: : : :

Gotoh is Killua's official butler. He's the one making sure that Killua stays safe and sound. He keeps Killua happy and feeds him when he cries. It's his job, his duty.

They start Killua's training at birth, after all, it's the best time to start, with most childhood memories being forgotten as you age. Even with him being just a butler, Gotoh knows that even starting a day late is all it takes to mess up the training process. They lace poison into his milk, various types and as they lose their potency and effect on little Killua they switch it out for something harder, something different, and by the time Killua's ready for solid foods, he's almost completely immune to poison.

They break his bones during this time too. Dislocating his little bones as they grow, twisting, breaking, changing their natural structure and as Killua's cries bounce off the walls of the mansion and into every corner of the estate, they continue, little by little. Illumi breaks them, Zeno breaks them, Gotoh breaks them. It's part of training and this is only the beginning of the process, this will make it easier, less painful for Killua when he has to start training under his father and eldest brother for the first times. The process of breaking and rebreaking, dislocating and twisting bones is only the first step in gaining an assassin's claws.

They start at birth, because as the child ages he will forget all that has happened to him.

His mentality will stay intact.

And the rigorous training will have no effect on his mind; therefore Killua will remain strong, his mind will remain intact and his faith in the family strong.

: : : :

Gotoh first takes Killua out of the mansion and into the surrounding woods when he's almost nine months old. It's time for him to meet Mike, the guard dog in training.

Killua barely blinks when he comes face-to-face with Mike. The baby is only just a spot in Gotoh's arms as he stares up at Mike, his big blue eyes and arms are stretched out, wanting to pet what he thinks is a cute giant puppy.

Spit flies out of Killua's mouth as he giggles, hands clapping together, he squirms in Gotoh's arms, trying to move forward and toward Mike, who just stares at the tiny little rugrat.

Gotoh watches as Mike tilts his head, studying his new master. Silva may be the head of the Zoldyck family, but when it comes to Mike, each and every member of the family are his master.

Gotoh takes a step closer to Mike, allowing the young master to have his wish fulfilled. Killua's chubby pale fingers finally land onto Mike's nose.

As Mike growls, Killua smiles.

Seeing it is strange, surreal almost, most cower before Mike, most of the butlers had been wary when Mike was first brought into the estate. And when Illumi and Milluki had met Mike, Illumi had only stared at the dog uninteresting and Milluki asked if he could go back inside. But Killua...