Drarry One-shots *TW* lots of angst

dangerous perfectionism, and the weight of the wizarding world-WIP

*A/N there will be a part two to this eventually.*

*A/N I am not a huge fan of this so I'm sorry if its a little rough I will try to put up a part two but I really can't guarantee it anymore.*

I stared into the mirror noticing all the little flaws: the extra bit of fat I carried on my lower stomach and chin, the curve of my hips... I couldn't help but to see them.

I groaned, not good enough, walking back out into the I dorm tried to expel the thoughts from my head.

I dressed quickly and sat down to rewrite my essay. I spelled a few words wrong and using magic to fix it left a nagging feeling in my gut that would take forever to wear off. I had already rewritten this essay 5 times and my hands were cramping increasingly more. I kept switching sides as I wrote so my arms were equally sore and equally muscular. Each line I wrote I switched hands.

I went to bed late that night making sure my clothes for the day were laid out as they should be and my wand was neatly tucked underneath. I closed my eyes and slept. I got up at exactly 7:30 am and brushed my teeth combing my hair 20 times before cementing it perfectly in place. The thought of one hair out of place bugged me and would bug me all day until I double and triple checked that they were all in place. I glanced in the mirror. I hated my face.

At breakfast, I told myself I wasn't hungry even though the empty feeling in my stomach told me otherwise. I nibbled on an apple slice or two just to end the growling. I knew at lunch I would make myself eat a small amount of red meat and a salad. I would drink lots of water today to make myself feel full. I had this routine down pat and it was working. I had started at a shocking 157 lbs and currently I sat at 123 lbs, my face had slimmed slightly and I got rid of the jiggling thighs I hated so much. There was still more I needed to drop, my ribs weren't showing, my collarbone didn't pop yet, my cheekbones didn't show enough.

POV switch.

I saw the dawn break through the curtains, another night with no sleep. This was the third night in a row I hadn't slept.

I got some coffee that my owl smuggled in. I placed the bracelet on my wrist that charmed my appearance back to "normal". I look far from normal nowadays. Eyes sunken in and bloodshot and my body was becoming scarily thin. Food never sounded good and only specific things sounded good when food did sound good. Today the only thing that sounded even remotely edible to me was spaghetti. That wasn't on the Hogwarts menu for the week so I just didn't eat.

If the hunger pangs were getting to me I would suck down coffee until they subsided. Ron and Hermione noticed my decline and that was when I decided finally to invest in the bracelet. Since I began wearing mine I started noticing people with them on.

During the first week I wore it I pulled a small first year aside, he was the first person I saw wearing one who wasn't in my year or the year below. I asked him why he wore it and he removed it to reveal a large burn scar running over part of his face and shoulder.

After a very deep and intense conversation he agreed to try showing a few of his friends. Weeks later and many short chats in the halls later I saw him running in the courtyard with his scar on full display. That warmed my heart, I could see me and the boy forming a solid mentor mentee relationship over the years.

The boy, Averick, had begun meeting up and studying with me once a week. On the third or fourth time we met he closed his book and looked up at me. "I want to ask you a personal question."

"Go for it kiddo."

"You pulled me aside when you saw my bracelet and told me it was nothing to be insecure about." I nodded, not entirely liking where this was going. "I wanted to ask why you wear yours?"