Not a good writing piece where I use heart racing metaphors to describe how lost I can get in just an hour. This time I write for the ones who can understand how much pain we can dig up by one thought.
I don't mind being needed, it's exciting but I need my space to coffin myself, can't breathe with all your nagging insults you don't plan. I prefer the mental dirt I rub on my eyes because I know how to counter my own bones.
I need a night to myself where I can imagine someone's hands pulling me close to their own heartbeat, a night I can open my windows and invite the soft glow of the moon and the dashing sound of the wind. A night where I can dream a nightmare that reminds me I'm alive.
No offence mom and dad, but I can't handle how happy you are while I struggle to control my breathing in the dark of my room, how I chant in my head for my heart to beat softer, how I beg MYSELF... HOW I BEG MYSELF TO THINK ABOUT HOW YOU MIGHT SUFFER BECAUSE OF ME. DAMN, YOU'D THINK THAT I ACTUALLY MATTERED TO YOU! Fucks sake I don't make it obvious, you have your right to believe in a mirage your baby girl has created but I'll be gone by the end of the year if you ignore how bruised my arms are. No pressure though, take your time.
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I wrote this during a mini rage fit and anxiety attack...
I've never been good at talking about my emotions or personal experiences (information) so writing has always been a coping mechanism if things got too much to deal with... In other words, this poem is unedited, it's the purest poem I've ever written and I'm proud of it in a way. okay bye...
YOU ARE READING
Starry Poems
PoetryJust a few poems my mind formed by using wordings and trying to make it into something worth reading.
