To Be Determined

Chapter Five: Stand Up

I am cursed to awaken with the rising sun. Once the sun shines bright enough to illuminate my eyelids, they pop open like solar-powered dancing toys. It made college a real drag, but I have since grown used to the inconvenience. Belladonna is at the edge of the bed, sleeping at my feet. I racked my brain about the conversation last night. Could Belladonna actually be the grounding source of my magical abilities? I wonder for a brief second what might happen if she were to disappear. Would I be free from all of this? I shudder at the thought. She is an extension of myself, whether I like it or not.

Iliad is holding onto me tighter than he normally does in the morning. I try to crawl out of bed, but I am unsuccessful. He pulls me back towards him, mumbling a little bit and smiling, as if in a good dream. All of the details of his face are so pronounced in the early morning light. The sharpness of his jaw, the dark circles surrounding his eyes, his rose-pink lips, the tan line surrounding the eye that is usually hidden away from the light of day. He looks like a portrait. His face looks so soft. "Don't get out of bed, I like the way that morning feels on your skin." He says, mostly asleep.

"Give me thirty seconds to grab my journal." I kissed his forehead and his smile intensified and he hid his face underneath the blanket. I grab the pack, which is right by the door. Asha must have figured that I would need it and dropped it off. I wonder if he slept at all or just stared at the stars thinking about Ben and the news that I delivered. What if I am mistaken? What if I just gave my grieving brother false hope about his dead loved one? I fight off a headache and pull out the journal and pen. I take a few deep breaths to collect myself. I don't want Iliad to feel any of this uncertainty. Some burdens are best to carry on your own shoulders. I sit back down and he reaches out, holding my waist in his strong arms. I brush some of his overgrown auburn hair off of his face. Soon enough he is fast asleep. I began documenting the dreamlike twenty-four hours that have passed since my last entry.

Professor Olyvia Saris, Entry 3. Journey 3. Day 26.

Yesterday morning shortly after my last entry there was an encounter with a large black cat. I have reason to believe that the abnormal animals in the area do not have rapid evolution to blame for their adaptations, but that magic is involved. The woods are a hotspot for magic, with the epicenter being the home of the Hex of the Narrow Wood, or Momma Leone as I have grown to know her. She is a lovely, kind woman, and I have many misconceptions to clear once I arrive back in Lochea, If I can make it back. After killing the large cat to protect Iliad, I began having massive head and body pains. I blacked out and awoke in another world. I was in the realm of the moon and spoke with the High Priestess, who tricked me into bringing the cat back to life. Ultimately Iliad laid the cat down after a gust of wind came from the open palms of my hands. Several of the cat's bones broke upon impact with a tree and the pain in my head was too excruciating to stop him.

Shortly after arriving at Leone's home my twin brother, whom I have not seen since my teenage years, arrived. We caught up over dinner and discussed the possibility of me secretly being a powerful magician. I am torn in half with the idea of this. I am willing to stop at nothing to stop the plague, but magic has taken my brother from me, my mother as well. A hole in my heart needs to fill before I can make any definitive decisions. For now, Asha has agreed to let us travel with him as he conducts his search for the cure. I believe that with Iliad and I's scientific and medical knowledge, and Asha's skills as a great magician, we are closer to a cure than ever. That may be wishful thinking, but it is better than the fear that it all is a lost cause.

Asha confided in me last night that he lost his lover in one of the Arcana realms. I am determined to bring him closure, and hopefully bring Ben back with us. I have lost enough in this world to feel his pain and I want to stop perpetuating his suffering any longer. I love my brother despite the years and miles that we have spent apart. I hope that this is a new beginning, a mended relationship with my brother is all that I have thought about for years. It is a dream that I thought that I would never see lived out.