Mists of Celeste - an Ateez Fanfic

act two ➻ part eight

Seonghwa steps out of the bathroom with a towel in hand and wet strands of hair clinging to his forehead. You glance over at him from your place on the bed, body already showered and bundled up under the layers of blankets and sheets. Seonghwa's gaze is as soft as his smile as he looks over you. You're struggling to keep your eyes open though, and if you stay bundled up like this, you'll fall asleep at any second.

"You look tired," Seonghwa says as he rubs the towel over his dark hair.

"Do I?" You huff out a small laugh. "I guess I'm more tired than I thought."

"I went easy on you," Seonghwa remarks, smile stretching his lips wider. You roll your eyes at his light-hearted comment and pull the sheets up to your chin.

"Do you need to go see Hongjoong now?"

There is a breath of hesitation, and Seonghwa lets the question linger in the air for a little while before pursing his lips.

"Yes. I should've gone sooner, most likely."

"Don't get chewed out."

"I'm sure I will regardless," Seonghwa laughs as he turns back to the bathroom, continuing to rub at his hair until it's mostly dry. You watch him from your spot on the bed, too tired to move much. "Will you be okay on your own?" He asks as he comes back into your room.

"Yea, I should be. I'll probably just sleep."

"Okay, that's good. You need the rest." Seonghwa darts his tongue out to moisten his lips. "I'll come get you for dinner."

"As long as you don't try to carry me in there."

"Right, of course. You can walk just fine on your own, is that it?" Seonghwa doesn't wait for you to respond. He walks towards your door, grabbing his jacket off the foot of the bed before he goes, and you just watch his movements with a stirring sensation in your gut.

"Seonghwa..." You trail off, nerves getting the better of you before you can finish the sentence. Seonghwa stops moving but doesn't turn completely around to look at you. He must anticipate the question you intend to ask because you catch the way his shoulders draw up a little. "It was just a-a distraction, right?"

An airy laugh escapes the man's chest.

"If that's what you want it to be, then yes."

The words don't sit right with you though, and you push yourself up to look at Seonghwa more clearly. A frown paints your lips. You aren't sure if it's your frown or the movements that cause Seonghwa to take a few steps in your direction.

"Don't worry, Y/N." He places a hesitant hand on the foot of the bed, eyes on yours as he speaks in a quiet tone. "I'm not the type to get overly attached or anything like that. Sex is sex. It just happened to be what you needed at the time. Nothing has to come out of it."

"Y-Yea... okay, you're right." Seonghwa's smile is a bit tighter this time, and he leaves the room before you can stop him. As soon as the door slides shut behind his retreating form, you fall back to the mattress and clench a fist around your shirt. That feeling from before is lingering in your chest again. It's almost tangible, like you could reach into your torso and pull it out if you tried hard enough. You almost want to attempt to do so, but you do nothing except lie there with a hand clenching around fabric for what feels like hours.

You can't quite pinpoint the emotion. It's sharp and pinching, but also dull and throbbing. Hot and cold. Both sides of a coin. And yet, that can't be possible. Something that feels good in the moment, but is terrible in the long run? Or could it be the other way around? You don't know whether the sensation is a good one or a bad one. It certainly doesn't make you happy, and that's all you know.