find my way

Chapter One : Scars that no one can see

        My head pounds painfully against my skull. As words that are supposed to be printed upon the page swarm around my head; seemingly impossible to read. I press the palm of my hands against my eyelids, willing my migraine to disappear. The chatter around me seems to get louder with each passing moment.  My heart rate picks up and my face flushes in frustration.

       Harshly I slam my textbook closed and lazily lean against the arm of the couch. I take a large breath in through my nose, and out through my mouth, willing for my anger to dissipate. Gradually, my heart rate begins to slow down. I close my eyes. 'Why can't I focus? What, am I suddenly dumb or something? Honestly, I shouldn't be surprised I've always been pretty pathetic-' I'm snapped out of my thoughts as I hear a loud crash coming from the kitchen. I snap my eyes open, and my heart rate picks up once again. I hear an obnoxious squeal of surprise that sounds suspiciously like Dunce's's face. I snap my gaze in that direction. Only to see pinky and shitty hair laughing maniacally, as Dunce face pouts, glaring at a broken plate lying on the floor. The common room quiets in surprise only to go right back to what they were doing previously. I release a sigh of relief.

     Briefly, I make eye contact with shitty hair. A wide smile adorns his face. I stare wide-eyed as he continues to laugh. His vibrant smile lighting up the room, and the whole world seems to stop. His hair is in a small, messy ponytail. In passing, I wonder what it would feel like to run my fingers through his hair. The tips of my ears heat up as my heart slams violently against my ribs.

            I let a quiet groan escape my lips, as I harshly rub my eyes in an attempt to focus. The air in the room is stiff, and it seems as if its lacking oxygen. 'God, I need some air.'  I think as I get up from my spot on the couch. I ponder bringing my textbook with me but ultimately decided against it. 'Who would steal a textbook anyway?' I assume as I make my way towards the door. Just as I was about to leave I hear a familiar laugh coming from the kitchen. I glance over, only to see pinky laughing joyously and as shitty hair spins around with her on his back. My, hear drops to my feet. 'How could he ever like me? I'm not even half as pretty.' I look down at my feet. 'I wish I was mina...' I sigh in defeat and with that, I turn and walk out the door.

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          Absentmindedly I watch my hot breath leave my mouth and slowly dissipate as if it was never there.' same though' i think humorously. I rub my hands together in an attempt to warm up.  'Damn its cold. I should've brought a jacket.' I think as a shiver runs down my spine.
"Idiot," I whisper aloud to myself.

Silently I turn into the alleyway that leads to the park I'm looking for.  The alley itself is pretty long, but it usually doesn't take me long to traverse. I was about to turn out of the alley, and into the open street. When I hear footsteps from behind me.  Swiftly l turn around to see a large man walking in my direction. I shrug it off, assuming that he would just go about his business. I turn back around to continue on my way, only to feel a hand grab my bicep. I jerk my body around to see the man smiling sadistically.  Just as I was about to set off an explosion in his face. I feel a shock run through my body, and I go limp on the ground.
'What the hell?!' I think, trying to move, only to discover that I'm completely paralyzed.  I look around in a panic. The man crouches down to my level and smiles dangerously.

Trigger warning: Rape (not shown explicitly but still proceed with caution.

He licks his lips hungrily.
"Don't worry blondie, I'm just going to have a little fun with you" he purrs in a heavy American accent. My heart rate picks up exponentially. Frantically he starts to unbuckle his pants.  My eyes widen. I continue to try and move. 'Come on move!' I think in a frantic stupor. My attempts are in vain. I squeeze my eyes shut, as I feel him grab the waistband of my shorts. And just like that, I'm helpless... I couldn't even scream...