Twilight Collision: Falling Into Pieces

The Clock Tower

The sound of the clock tower was the only sound that I wanted to focus, and It was the only sound that mattered. It was the sound that marked the end.

I could clearly see the group of people celebrating St. Markus Day just outside the alley and they were oblivious to the scene that I was about to make. The sun was shining, and it was the most appropriate way to die by stepping into the light. All it would take is to make ten small steps. I didn't have to hurry because it was already inevitable.

One... I remember the exact moment that I left her. I felt that my heart was being broken into a million pieces. It didn't matter that I didn't have a beating heart in the first place but it still hurt like hell. Even so, I knew that it was the right thing to do even though it felt so wrong with every step I took to be away from her.

Two... I tried my best to be distracted from the pain. I hunted for Victoria. If I was to keep her safe from my kind, I needed to make sure that there were no loose ends. Victoria was a loose end. From what I had deciphered from her mind, James was important to her and now that James was gone, retaliation was to be expected. I didn't have to worry if she was going to take it against any of our family. She was no match but if she decided to finish what James started and go after Bella, I shudder to think what would happen. I went as far as travelling to Rio to try to follow her scent but to no avail. I knew I have asked Alice to not look for Bella's future but if Victoria would decide to attack her, I was sure that kind of decision would not go unnoticed even if my sister wasn't deliberately looking out for her future.

Three... when I had finally ended my feeble attempt of tracking Victoria down, I was fighting a battle of my own. It was too much to be away from her. My mind was struggling at the idea of going back to be with her and endangering her once more or stay away and face the pain of losing her but keeping her safe.

Four... there had come a point when I was about to lose my resolve and catch a plane back to Washington but I held my ground. That was why I holed myself in an empty room somewhere in Rio. If I was within the same continent as her, I would have gone back to her right away.

Five...the loneliness had started to overwhelm me. I could have gone back to my family but it was too much to be around with mated couples. Their happiness was just a shadow of what I could never have with Bella. I wanted to spare them the pain of seeing me miserable. They understood what I was going through. Well, most of them anyway. Some, like Rosalie was still mad that I was making the family miserable as well with my departure but it was better this way.

Six... being away with the family didn't mean I had cut connections. I would contact them, more specifically, I would contact Carlisle... when my sanity would allow me. I owed it to my sire, my father, to let him know that I was at least okay for a man drowned by his own sorrow. It was the least that I could do for him. My call happened so rarely that he would always answer no matter where he was, even during his busy days in the hospital. Only, I hadn't expected that the last call I had made to him would also be my last attempt at clinging to my existence.

It was in that call when I heard the busy sound of the emergency room in the background.

It was in that call that I heard the paramedics confirming the death of the person whom I have fought to keep alive by letting myself suffer in her place.

The person that I have tried to keep away from the dangers of my kind only to be taken away from me by something as mundane as a gunshot wound.

Isabella Marie Swan, died after getting caught in a shootout.

Seven... I remember not bothering to hear Carlisle's voice. The phone was already out of my hand and out into the window in my anger. I remember after that brief moment of rage, everything fell into place. I knew what I needed to do. There was no point in me existing because the reason for my existence was gone. Fate was cruel to us but instead of being angry, I accepted that there was nothing left for me to live for. I was not going to spend the rest of eternity without my Bella.