---I have an emotional Detachment based on what the doctor said. Does that mean Deien is not real? What happened to The Ruins? All of that is not true? I just imagined all that? I just chose to shut my brain down because of the pain I was experiencing physically and mentally? I just closed my eyes again when everything sinks in on me. I no longer feel any pain in my body, maybe during my time here in the hospital they have healed. But even though it is healed I still feel tired and I just want to rest. I'm still in pain. I do not know how long I will be hurt before she accepts me. How many more years do I have to wait? because I'm getting tired. I love my mom but I also get tired. I just want to be happy, to be free, and to be loved. If I don't experience it here I might find it somewhere else. I closed my eyes and finally let go of the darkness.