Star Wars: The Padawan's Student

Prologue

Emptiness. That's what Ahsoka felt at that moment. She could have been screaming and crying, flailing around wildly or break down on the ground. She could have been sad or angry. Could have felt betrayed and abandoned. Perhaps she felt all of this and it all combined to form one big emptiness that took possession of her whole being.

Her eyes were focused on the holo-recording in front of her. To Anakin, who knelt before the chancellor, knelt before Sidious. Never before had her own master seemed so strange to her. Seeing Anakin like this was as if she looked through the eyes of another person, as if the body in which she was stuck in did not belong to her. Obi Wan's words - with which he probably wanted to make sure that she was well - didn't get through to her at all. She saw the movement of his lips and his worried look, but nothing more.

"I should never have left," it was barely more than a quiet whisper. The words left Ahsoka's mouth before she could think about it, accompanied by tears that now ran down her face. Obi Wan had immediately fallen silent, only looking at her more worried than ever.

"Ahsoka, this isn't your fault," his voice was soft, and it was actually the first thing that actually came through to her since she had first seen the holo.

"But I could have been there for him! Had I not been on Mandalore, had I even been with him the last few months, he could have talked to me. I could have understood him."

"I know how you feel, probably even better than anyone else," he gently put his hand on her shoulder. A rare sign of proximity from the Jedi master that Ahsoka appreciated, "There's nothing you could have done. None of us could."

She wasn't sure if that last sentence was really addressed to her or if he was saying it to himself. Yet it gave her strength, even enough to finally ask the question she had feared for so long.

"Where is he now?", the question occupied her since she had felt that something was wrong with Anakin for the first time on her cruiser. She had the same bad feeling on the moon on which she had crashed. With Rex help she had fortunately managed to restore a part of the communication. And even if she hadn't been able to reach Anakin, she had at least been able to contact Obi Wan who gave her the coordinates of the station on Polis Massa. Although Ahsoka had assured him that everything was fine with Rex, Obi Wan insisted that he first had his chip examined at the medical station before he was initiated into any details.

So it was that Ahsoka was all alone with the old master when the flood of bad news hit her. The Temple was destroyed, the Jedi were dead, the Republic had fallen. Anakin had survived, but only because he was the cause of all this. Because he had joined the Sith. She didn't ask why, she didn't want Obi Wan to tell her. If there was someone who had to answer this question, it was Anakin himself. But first she had to know where he was. Questioningly she looked at Obi Wan who hadn't answered her question yet, only to see how he avoided her gaze.

"Master? Where is Anakin now?"

"Anakin is... he is..." his voice trembled, and Ahsoka could have sworn she saw tears form in his eyes. She had never seen him like that before "He's dead. I killed him."

The words hit Ahsoka like a blaster shot. Shocked, she stood there not knowing what to do or say. Her brain seemed unable to process the information she had just received correctly. In disbelief she looked at the man opposite her.

This could not be true! That was impossible! Just like for her Anakin had been like a brother for Obi Wan, sometimes maybe even like a son. She could not believe he would have killed him. Yes, Anakin had done bad things, terrible, unforgivable, horrible things, and yet she could never have hurt him. So how would Obi-Wan ever have been able to do such a thing to him?