Impossible love (dreamxgeorgenotfound)

Chapter 4 - Fuck it

Warning for depression and self harm, take care

Clay sat on his bed, staring at his wall intensely. His mind drifting into deep thoughts, and from time to time regaining control over them. They were mainly about the cute brittish boy he missed to death. He felt sick, his body was so weak. He, was so weak.

George was in a coma.

This fucking Diana, if i ever meet her i will fucking kill that bitch

His thoughts scared him, because they weren't lying. If he ever got close to Diana he would not be able to control himself. Clay has always had this unpredicteble temperament, it would actually be dangerous if he met Diana.

"Fuck it" he said. Laying down on his bed waiting for the pills he took 1 hour ago to kick in. To help him sleep. His gaze moved up to the picture he had of George on his wall. The picture none knew he had.
"George... please, come back. I.. I.." a choking feeling of sadness cut him off. Tears started streaming down his face. One by one, he let them come and go. Come from his sad emerald green eyes, and go down his cheek, to form a little puddle on his pillow.
"B.. before I,  do somethi..i .ing...... I might regret"
The words that just came out of his mouth echoed in his head.

"Please... save me"

George had been in a coma for 2 weeks now. Clay hated his phone, because he never got any notices from George. He was the only person he wanted to hear from. Not even his fans could cheer him up. Nothing made him happy anymore, he felt like life wasn't worth living anymore. But he needed to be there for George when he finally woke up. The time was so slow Clay has had time to think about hurting himself, a number of times.

Clay sat quiet in his chair. He had just ended the stream he had been on for 3 hours. The clock was 3:03.

Guess I'll go to sleep now

The silence in his lonely room was painfully silent to his ears, and to his poor heart. He had no George to talk to like he did after every stream. No laughs, no screams, no nothing.
"Fuck, George. It hurts so bad.. I love you SO FUCKING BAD"

Clays body stood up. And he couldn't care less, to be honest. He didn't care about anything anymore.
"Whatever.."
His hand took his phone and slid it into his pocket. "Like I'll be needing that anyways, .. you fucking idiot"
His feet slowly walked him to the bathroom. There he stood, for what felt like 5 minutes. Staring at what his body made him look at.

The razorblade.

He had looked at it many times before. But Georges smile saved him from his thoughts. But his smile faded from Clays memories more and more, every day that went on. He closed his eyes.

Is it even worth it anymore? George probably doesn't like me anyways

He took a deep breath. It was too late, to try to flee. His thoughts had already took over him. His eyes opened, and looked into the mirror. Where he saw a dirty blonde boy whose heart was shattered into a millon pieces.

"You cant pick them up and fix me this time George........,  you aren't here"

His hand shakily moved towards the sharp blade that laid infront of him. It looked as sharp as the pain he felt inside of him. Poor Clays now steady hand picked the sharp object up, with no regret in them.
Clays eyes studied his left wrist up and down.

Where does it hurt the most?

When he decided where to cut and moved his hand into position, he started to shake. His tears ran uncontrollably down his cheeks. He got a glimt of himself in the mirror. He looked so tired and broken.

Who even am i anymore?

A painful sound came out of his mouth as he pressed the blade into his skin, and when he was just about to cut deeper he heard an unfamiliar sound. A vibrating sound, and feeling. Coming from his pocket.

"M..my ph..hone" he managed to whisper, with the shaky and weak voice of his. Clays fingers fished up the vibrating object in his pocket

'Georgie❤️ is calling'

"AAHHH OH MY GOD... GEORGE?"
He suddenly felt wide awake. With blood running down his hand, dripping onto the floor.

781 words

If someone asks me to update, i will, but if i dont see anyone being intrested im not gonna waste time. Love you all❤️