Golden |2| The Umbrella Academy

EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: SEVEN STAGES

Lotus awoke with a start, sliding off the bed and stumbling towards the hallway. Loud noises echoed from the kitchen, she stopped in the living room as Luther groggily got up from the couch. "Could it be one of the brothers?" She whispered, grabbing a closed umbrella from a nearby desk. She wielded it in front of her, as it would hold them off. Luther shook his head and stepped in front of her, "Stay behind me."

They shuffled forward, the sounds getting louder. Luther came to an abrupt stop, she crashed into him with a yelp. "What the hell?" 

"Five?" Luther questioned, "You okay?"

Lotus moved around him, tossing the umbrella to the side, eyes landing on Five who chugged a container of water. "What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna need to be hydrated." He heaved, capping the bottle and putting back in the fridge.

"For what?"

He moved over to the kitchen table and swiped up a tub of baby powder, he shrugged before raising his arms and dumping some down each shirt sleeve. She hadn't realized he wasn't wearing his blazer.

"What's with the baby powder?" Luther watched perplexed.

"It'll help with the itching." He said plainly, moving his arms around before extending the waist of his shorts and pouring some down there too.

"What itching?" Lotus looked to Luther, "What is going on?"

"There's itching? What did you do?"

Five jumped up and down as Luther's eyes widened, "You do have a plan!"

"Well, it's a desperation move, but since our brain-dead siblings are incapable of meeting a single deadline, I got no choice." He took off back into the living room, shucking his blazer off a chair.

"No choice about what?"

Five sighed, "I have to find myself?"

"Huh?"

He slipped out a watch from his pocket and stared, "I just arrived in Dallas 15 minutes ago."

Luther and Lotus shared another look, watching as Five bounced on his heels. "Should we be worried about you?"

He shook his head, sliding his blazer on before stretching. "If you recall, I was sent to 1963 on a job by the Commission to make sure the president was assassinated."

"Oh, so wait— your old self is out there?"

"Precisely." He rolled his neck, "And I'm gonna find him."

Lotus' brows furrowed, "So you just have a different version of yourself wandering around Dallas?"

"Walking around Dallas with a briefcase that can get us home."

Luther's eyes widened, clapping his hands together. "Oh my god, Five! You're a genius."

"However." He cut in, sending them each a glare. "There are two significant problems with this plan. Problem number one: I am a trained assassin, arguably the most dangerous assassin in the space-time continuum. If I know me, I'm not going to react kindly to bumping into myself."

Lotus crossed her arms, "And what's the other issue here?"

"You're not supposed to exist in close proximity to yourself in the same timeline. The side effects can be disastrous."

He paced back and forth, Lotus wanted to reach out and hold him in place. "Side effects? What sort of side effects?" Luther questioned.

"Well, according to Commission Handbook Chapter 27, subsection 3B, the seven stages in paradox psychosis are—"