The Story of Us

Girls & Walmart

*A/N* Thomas on the side -->*

No one could seem to leave me alone and I had no desire whatsoever to return to my house where my mother was probably drinking herself away in her silent misery. Landon was the first teammate besides Thomas that I went to the cafe with. I liked spending time with Landon because of his calming aura and it's soothing effect on myself. All we did was quietly sip our drinks and throw around some small talk.

We left, talking about the horse-collar penalty from last night and how lucky I was that I didn't get hurt. People openly stared at me as I walked past, marveling that I still showed my face in this town. If I hadn't run out of cereal I surely wouldn't be casually strolling down the local grocery store in bright daylight. Luckily Aunt Jill and Raelynn had run out of food also.

“No!” Raelynn squealed, pointing at me and jumping up and down in her seat on the shopping cart.

“You don't want Cocoa Puffs?” Aunt Jill asked, dumbfounded by her response. I laughed heartily, drawing Aunt Jill's attention away from the box of cereal in her hand.

“Goodness, Noah!” My aunt gasped, covering her heart in surprise.

“Rae-Rae.” I said, smiling for the first time that day.

“No up!” She demanded, arms outstretched. I raised her up out of the shopping cart. Raelynn squealed with delight and put her arms around my neck, giving me one of her cute little smiles.

“Does she like Cocoa Puffs?” Aunt Jill demanding, brandishing the box like a weapon. I nodded, Raelynn talking my ear off.

“Aunt Jilly has a puppy, No. Her name's Kit Kat!” Rae-Rae told me, clapping her hands with excitement.

“Oh yeah? Well I won a football game last night.” Rae crinkled her nose, looking at me with those blue eyes.

“So?” She asked, running her hand over my silky-feeling dry fit shirt, completely uninterested. I rolled me eyes, a small smile on my face.

“C'mon Raelynn, let's get home so we can get you some lunch.” Raelynn looked torn between wanting to stay with me and getting something to eat.

“Go on. I 'll come see you later.” She thought for a moment before nodding. I handed her over to Aunt Jill who placed her back in the shopping cart. A wave of emotional exhaustion swept through me as they walked away.

I needed a lay, a cigarette, drugs, alcohol, anything to distract me from the truth. My father would be buried tomorrow, from what Aunt Jill had told me a couple of days ago. His casket would be closed and there would be viewings all day. The reality of the situation still hadn't hit me. When it does it'll knock me flat on my ass.

It felt like I was drowning. The more I tread, the more tired I got. It was the emotional, bone-deep tired that you got after a hectic day when nothing went right for you and all you felt like doing was curling up in your bed and crying. Every breath sent searing pain to my chest. The pain was simply pain. There is no fancy way of glamorizing the word pain or it's emotional effects. I couldn't see help coming for me anytime soon. I was The Golden Boy, I was supposed to be strong without others' help. Yet all I needed was one small life-line, something to grab hold of. Anything to keep me going, to make me want to live. It seemed like there was nothing holding me to this world anymore.

There was also that part of me that was angry and guilty at the same time. I was angry because my father left me. It felt like he had abandoned me when I needed him the most, when everyone needed him. I was left to pick up the pieces of our shattered life and ignore my own feelings. I felt guilt for all the things I had told him in my fits of rage. Terrible guilt for all the sleepless nights I had caused him. All of it together made me feel like shit for everything my father had had to deal with.