Laugh Now Cry Later

I'll Be Wanted In The End

Jungkook p.o.v
❗️TRIGGER WARNING❗️

I walk straight up to my room not even checking if my mom was home or not before locking my door and walking over to my dresser.
I opened the top drawer before pulling out a hot glue gun and some glue . I had always wanted to try this form of s*lf-h*ram but I was always to scared to.
I quickly walk over to the closest outlet before plugging it in and grabbing my phone and headphones to block out any other sounds because at this rate I'm might as well just end it all.
I sat down on my floor before rolling up my sleeves. I picked up the hot glue gun before squeezing the hot glue straight onto my wrist. It burned so bad I thought my skin was on fire but at the same time I knew I deserved it.
I put another line of glue on my wrist feeling the burn once again. I kept on until I couldn't even feel the pain anymore so I stopped.
My arm was covered in blood and now stiff glue. I waited for a minute before peeling the glue off to reveal my freshly burnt skin underneath. I didn't think this would actually work this well but I'm not complaining. I sat the hot glue gun back down before unplugging it. I sat there in silence feeling completely numb at this point. I hate that this is what my life has come to. I just want to at least feel loved and wanted in this world. Is that too much to ask for?

__________________________

Taehyung p.o.v

I was currently laying on my bed waiting for Jungkook to call me.
He has been gone for about 30 minutes which is more than enough time for Him to get home.
I suddenly hear my phone go off immediately picking it up and answering it. "Kookie?" "Hey, Tae sorry it took so long to call you I had some chores to do." "It's okay don't worry at least you still called me." -I reply happily. "So how are you feeling?" -I ask "I feel okay I guess." -He replies "Okay, well that's good but remember I'm here if you ever need to talk about anything. Literally anything I don't judge." -I reassured him. "Thank you I will keep you in mind." "So are you doing anything tomorrow?" -I ask " Oh It's my first day at the cafe! I totally forgot." -I hear him say excitingly. His giggles are so cute oh my god I wish I could just squeeze him right now. He is so precious I swear. "Oh I see someone's excited." -I say teasingly.
"If it means getting out of the house then I'll be excited picking up shit out of someone's bathroom Floor." "Damn is it that bad there?" -I ask concerned. "Well it's okay but it can get annoying being stuck in the house all day everyday with nothing better to do." -Jungkook says. "Well understandable but I will make sure I vist you on your first day!"
"Okay i hope to see you later then" -He replies with a giggle.

__________________________

Jungkook p.o.v
I take a deep breath in and out before pushing the cafe door open. I hear the bell at the top of the door ring signaling that I had entered. "Well hello there new kid" -I hear my new co-worker say as she sees me walking up to the front.
"So where do I start?" -I ask
"Well for one you need to get back here with me." -She says opening the little door beside the cashier labeled 'employees only'.
"So now that you're here put this on." -She says handing me a purple and blue apron with a name take label 'Jungkook'.
I quickly take the apron from her hands before sliding it over my hoodie. "Looks great." -She smiles
"So I will be showing you how to do everything around here until you feel comfortable doing it alone, sound good?" "Sounds perfect" -I reply with a smile.
__________________________

Taehyung p.o.v
As I was sitting on my bed I decided I should probably get up and get ready to go see Jungkook.
I walk downstairs to be greeted by my mom cooking a big dinner. "Hey sweetie sit down." -She said pulling out a chair for me a The dinner table.
"Mom thank you but I'm not hungry." -I say trying to walk away before I feel her tug at my shirt. "You haven't ate dinner with us in ages, so please just tonight?." -She asks pleading. I start to feel bad so I made the hard decision  to sit down and eat with her and my dad.
"Thank you." I smile back at her response.
All of the food was already neatly placed on the table. "Here's your plate kind sir." -She's giggles . I try my best to stay calm as I put my plate together. I pick up a spoonful of Mac and cheese on place onto my plate along with one piece of steak and a couple green beans before setting my plate onto the table. "Is that all?" -I hear my mom ask. "I told you I wasn't hungry." -I remind her  "okay just make sure to finish what you have on your plate."
I nod my head before looking back to my plate. I slowly pick up my fork nervously. I pick at my food trying my best way to avoid eating it at all costs.
I pick up one single green bean before bringing it up to my mouth. I hesitate almost breaking down but I didn't want my mom to be disappointed that I didn't eat her food she worked hard to cook. I slowly open my mouth before pushing the contents into my mouth. It was so little but it tasted so good. I missed the taste of food. I missed flavor . I chewed it slowly not wanting to swallow but I eventually did. I quickly shoved all the fools I could fit in my mouth before binging on all I could eat.
"You ate really well son." -My dad says giving me a smile. "Well I'm going to head back up to my room." -I said before quickly running back up to my room.
‼️TRIGGER WARNING‼️

I quickly shut my door locking it behind me before rushing to the bathroom. I turn on the shower to block out any noise because I cannot let my mom hear me wasting her amazing meal she made.
I lift the toilet lid before getting onto my knees.
I lean over the toilet before pushing my index and middle finger in my mouth hitting the back of my throat. I gag but it was unsuccessful. I try once more going deeper. I gag again but this time the contents that were in my stomach are now in the toilet in front of me. I feel sick as I continue to purge until I am completely empty. I flush before shakily standing up and walking over to the shower. I turn the knob as I hear the bathroom go silent all that is heard is my heavy breathing. My stomach hurts like hell and my throat is killing me but at least it's worth it. I'll be wanted in the end right?

(A/N: hey guys sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. School started back and it's been hectic but any free time I have I'm going to use it on this so please stay tuned for the upcoming chapters. I love you guys stay safe!)