levi [angst]

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AOT SEASON 4 SPOILERS
Levi x cadet reader

This story takes place when levi and hanji had gone m.i.a, so unfortunately levi would not actually come out in the setting whatsoever :/

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I stood a few feet away from floch, glaring at him as he spoke, something about what he was doing didn't feel right, as jean stood across from me i watched as floch manipulated him, i stayed quiet of course, this had nothing to do with me, once i saw jean take a step closer to floch i knew who's side he chose to be on so i decided to leave and help out on the battle field, of course without them noticing my dispearance.

I had gotten out of there and am now soaring through the air, i spotted a 5 meter titan, so grappling onto a roof i maneuvered my body and kicked the side of a house to give me a boost and as i flew closer to it i was able to calculate where i'll get closer to the most and decided i would spin and slice the neck to give me a better grip, once i was above it i was able to do just as i planned and kill off the titan, i landed on a roof and looked off into the direction of the founder titan, a sad look cascaded over my features as i looked around at all the broken buildings and soon on the moving giants, my mind started drifting to where they were headed and what they'll do, they will destroy everything then my mind wandered to my friends, where were they? I haven't seen any sign of any of them except for jean, i haven't even seen hanji or levi, i felt something trickled down next to my eye and so i lifted my hand up to graze it and once i brought my hand in front of my face i saw the familiar thick scarlet liquid of blood making me look down at myself to realize i was nearly covered in titan blood from head to toe oh well i thought as i let my shoulders slump, i started feeling an aching in my chest before i let out a small whimper, followed by tears falling down my face, i tried wiping my eyes but that only caused blood to smear everywhere, it started making me mad and soon it made me feel castrauphobic because of the amount of blood coating my skin, i started breathing hard so i tried to calm down by regulating my breathing but it didn't work and i soon started to scratch down my face and bashing my head hard with my fist as i cried "AHHHHHAHHHH!" i screamed as loud as i can before my body slumped and i fell on my knees as i sobbed, all the while keeping my eyes shut due to the burning from the smeared blood "..egh...help me!" I sobbed softly while hugging myself "why..why do i live like this..?" I croaked out while sobbing "why..jean?" I didn't know what to do at this point, do i keep fighting? Everyone is probably dead, but even if that was the case, i still haven't lost everything, jean is still with me, and even though he chose to side with floch i still can't think about giving up when i still have him? I whimpered lowly while gently wiping away the tears and rubbing my eyes to clear them up "god..my god, give me a sign of hope, lend me your strength to keep fighting...show me a glimpse of the future..in gods name i pray, amen" my voice wavered in the end as i looked down, hunching my back as more tears of hopelessness spilled from my eyes. Hours have passed and an hour since i've stopped crying, i was still sitting slumped staring numbly at the top of the roof that i sat on top of, and as i was about to get up i felt something wet land on my hand, looking down at my hand i saw a tiny splash of water on top of all the dried blood will it rain? I looked up at the sky and noticed the once blue clouded sky was now covered in grey clouds with a gloomy color in the atmosphere, i looked straight ahead again and the sudden urge to cry was once again resurfacing causing a lump to form in my throat why do i keep crying? Maybe it's just because i'm pathetic, that's it, i was never even cut out to be a soldier, that's why i'm pathetically crying right now, that's why i can't ever think of a plan to save the people around me, i always have to rely on someone to save me it should have been me who died instead of commander erwin silent tears flushed out of my eyes as i continued sobbing with my swords in my grip, a loud roar suddenly broke out through the air making me look up to see it coming from the founder titans direction "eren.." I stood and wiped my tears away "i'll defeat you, even if i die trying in the process, i'll know i died nobily instead of like the others, if it means saving the world...so be it" i hardened my features and grappled the wires onto the closest house near me.

"AGHH!" i cut everything i could as the titan let out an earth shaking roar, i was close i can feel it, you're mine eren, spinning in the air to avoid being struck by what looked like a vein or vine, i cut it in half and zapped inside the opening i created, now i stood inside what looked like giant bones, i ran in the direction where i knew eren would be and as quietly as i could i crept up behind him "y/n...why are you trying to kill me?" A voice rang out in my head making me freeze "y/n..i know where you are" the voice sounded familiar but i couldn't utter a simple response "do you know why i'm doing this?" He asked "why are you trying to prevent us freedom?" This caused guilt to eat me up "i know...we can obtain freedom a different way!" I said "there is no other way, we're viewed as devils, do you really think we won't be killed once the world finds out who we are? And what we want?" I started feeling doubt for my actions "they'll hunt us down like we do with titans, cut us up, kill us" my eyes widened and my breath hitched "are you trying to get into my head?" I asked "no, it's the truth" he said, i forced my feet to walk forward as tears escaped my eyes "but eren.. There has to be another way, what you're doing is mad" i said continuing to walk "if you don't falter now y/n. I'll be forced to kill you for stopping me" i looked down as an image of everyone appeared in my head "...i joined the scout regimen to save humanity..and kill the titans...not to destroy the world" i said lowly as i neared him "y/n.." His voice was threatening "kill me if you must, but i'll never go against what i stand by" i saw the familiar vines nearing me as i stood behind eren's figure with my blades in the air ready to strike down "i'm your friend y/n.." He said again making me freeze before i relaxed and closed my eyes as another tear fell once again "i'm sorry..but my friend eren died once he initiated these actions" and as if the world along with time had gone in slow motion yet in the blink of an eye everything took place so fast yet so slowly as if taunting the mind, i had brought down my blades just as the vines shot out to my being and pierced every inch and corner of my being as i sliced eren's head clean off of everything, now i stood there with my back hunched with my body hanging like a puppet as the life slowly drained out of my body and i watched as eren's head was slowly lifted off the ground and back onto his other half "i'm sorry y/n.." He said and i closed my eyes as tears flowed out of my eyes "it's okay...eren..tell levi..i love him and i'm sorry.. If he is still..alive" my head dropped and everything went black.

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