Secrets Teens keep

(3) Vanessa.

Friday 22, July, 2019
19:30

Vanessa Nnamani.

My Chihuahua, June. Rubbed, licked and kissed my ankle to grab my attention while my gaze was at the blank computer that I just ended a video call with Mabel.

I reluctantly moved my eyes and leaned down to ruffle her white fur then I heard our house help, Linda’s loud voice from the intercom.

“Dinner is served!”

She said in her robotic like voice.

I ran to my walk in closet to search for the baggiest sweat pants and the oversized hoodie that I own, which was four times my size.

I wore them hurriedly and checked myself in the large mirror close to my wardrobe. I was Satisfied with my appearance.

With the thick clothes, I looked like I was suffering from a serious cold and there was nothing I could do.

This was my usual style at home and I’d gotten quite used to it. I get home, take a shower, look myself in my room, wear big clothes that covered every curve, sometimes to dinner or sometimes skip it. That was my routine.

I hated the insipid look in my eyes as I stared at my pale face, so I grabbed my face cream lotion from the bed and applied it on my face.

Who am I kidding? The clothes I wore weren’t going to stop him from hurting me. I never wore revealing clothes so what difference would the baggy clothes make.

As I kept staring at myself in the mirror, different thoughts crossed my mind that my her head began to ache.

Linda screamed into the intercom for the second time, threatening to give my food to June. An empty threat obviously but still I make my way out of the room.

I was feeling a bit petulant today, grumbling all the way down the stairs, June following right behind me, barking in excitement.

I walked as slowly as possible in no rush to get to the dinning room. Step by step on the long spiral staircase, I used the bare wall to support myself. Unlike Kemi’s house that had numerous family picture frames designed on the wall up the staircase.

Only if I had a big loving and supportive family, maybe I wouldn’t feel so lonely Every time.

I wished there were family pictures I was in and put it up on the wall and smile at them whenever I’d pass by.

I was reluctant to step foot into the dining room as always. I braced myself as I got closer for one reason that caused goosebumps on my skin and made me want to vomit.

“Where is this girl? I’m starving.” The whinnying voice of my mom instantly gave me a boost and I wasted not a second to walk into the dinning room, ignoring the other person present at the table.

God seemed to be smiling at me that evening. I could finally talk to my mother about everything. I have made my problems a secret, hiding for too long that I knew I was beginning to lose my self. All because of how embarrassed I was.

The fear of my mom being disappointed, embarrassed, disgusted and ashamed of me plagued my thoughts. A part of me was positive all my problems would vanish once I told my mom but the other part strongly doubts.