Can We Pretend // Billie Eilish

chapter two

"Relax your arm sweetie," The nurse told me as she inserted the needle. "It'll just be a pinch."

I nodded and looked the other way. Even though I'd been getting remicade treatments for a long time now, l still couldn't bear to watch the infusion needle go in.

When the nurse was done she stood up. "It's in now, I'll be back in half an hour to check on you."

With a sigh I relaxed into my seat, resting the arm that had the needle in it. At the age of 17 I had been diagnosed with Crohn's disease, and from then on remicade treatments had become commonplace for me every two months. I knew how to cope with it now, and managing the disease with these treatments was easy - something that just came up on my schedule every now and then. What I hadn't learned to cope with was the boredom that came with sitting in a hospital for two straight hours.

Looking around, I spotted a magazine. Upon getting a closer look I realized who was on the cover: Billie Eilish. Who would've thought. I couldn't control my smile as I picked it up to get a closer look.

Over the past few months I'd seen Billie more times than I could count, and every single time I was left in awe of her beauty. This magazine cover was no different. Billie had on her usual 'no bullshit' face, a look I was well accustomed to because she rarely ever let her guard down, even when we were together. Her full lips, the long nails - I don't think I could ever look away.

I shook myself out of my trance. Recently I hadn't been doing so well with the whole "no strings attached" thing. Try as I might, I still found myself thinking of Billie at random times. I would remember a touch or a long forgotten kiss that would make me want her at the most random times. It would happen when I was sitting in front of my laptop, trying to finish assignments for class or even at work, when I was cleaning up after customers. I knew these feelings were unhealthy. And if I didn't keep them in check, they might grow into something that would destroy what we had.

And now? That feeling of desire was back tenfold, and I decided to do the only thing that could feed my apparent addiction - meet up with Billie in real life rather than in my daydreams. Pulling out my phone, I sent her a text.

Billie

are you busy?

for you? no

I stupidly smiled at that response. The butterflies erupting in my stomach weren't any help either.

could you pick me up from st. rose hospital in about two hours?

I have a remicade treatment today

ofc

my place after?

yeah

I put down my phone and closed my eyes, leaning back into the seat. Two hours couldn't go by any faster.

* * * * *

When I finally got discharged from the hospital I headed outside to call Billie. The bright sun made it hotter than it had been when I arrived, and I started sweating almost immediately. I tried looking around for a bench but didn't see anything.

Reaching into my bag, I searched for my phone.

"Alvina, get in." Looking up I saw that Billie had pulled up in front of me. I quickly got in the passenger seat of her car, feeling the welcoming cool air coming from her AC as soon as I sat down.