From the Archives

She Needn't Know

She'd lost track of the hours, there in his arms, the feeling of him so warm and sublime that it numbed her to her core. The tears trailing over her cheeks are dry now; had been dry for hours, hours after the sun had begun to set and this had all come to pass in the first place. She doesn't stir, she doesn't try to break away from him, she simply lets his form engulf her own like a strange silken shell cradling her, the fragile life within. The feeling of the taffeta ruffles at his neck brush against her own as he makes deep, snuffling inhalations into the pulse of her throat, a gloved hand gentle but firm as it massages and squeezes the supple flesh at her hip. Truth be told, she'd fallen into a bit of a slumber. It was easy to fall asleep in circumstances such as these, when her distress had taken all the breath out of her lungs, leaving her weary and susceptible to his undeniably comforting presence.

Yes, Pennywise had become a comfort to her. Though she had started out as nothing more than an amusement to him, her enduring love and commitment at his side had enchanted him as time went on, had unlocked a face of the eldritch beast that few others could ever hope to look upon, a version of him that was rarely savored and even more rarely deserved. It was so unfathomable that someone draw care and consideration from Pennywise of all things, so unfathomable that he himself couldn't deny how special that made her. He wanted her for his and no one else's, but a prize so coveted would not be without others to vie for its possession. The girl had loved ones, she had friends and family; hardly anyone could make her acquaintance without immediately being drawn to the radiant warmth of her spirit. She was so bright and lovely and odd, a truly colorful soul that delighted everyone she came across, including him in all eventuality. That's why it dismayed him so, to see her so heartbroken, so shattered and inconsolable, so much so that she would do the unthinkable of shrinking away from his touch. She hadn't done that since the early days.

"....Why do you avoid me, pet?" His voice is quiet, simple and sweet. He almost sounds hurt.

She doesn't answer, swallowing hard as she narrows her eyes to the floor. Her stomach roils with stubborn unease, riding waves of anxious nausea while her mind searches for a way, any way out of this situation. She doesn't want to face him, or this. Cowardly as it seems, she just wants to turn tail and run. She wanted to run all the way out of Derry, out of this godforsaken town and never look back; not at him, not at anyone. She wanted to be free of this dilemma, that which was tearing her conscience to ribbons and leaving her this sad, empty husk of a human being.

No, that wasn't fair. Her life was richer for having known him. She knew that. It was all she would let herself think. If he'd wanted to, he could have killed her so long ago. He could have snuffed her life out at any moment, and she would have been just one more meaningless little footnote in this town, on this insignificant little speck of a planet. He'd lived for thousands of years; he'd seen so much, experienced so much, and not a day went by that she wasn't in awe at the raw extent of his power. That something so great and powerful saw anything of value in someone like her gave her purpose in this silly little world, gave her a reason to wake up in the morning and persist for one more day, because at the end of that day she could see him, and all her troubles would melt away. It was all worth it, just for him.

She blinks back tears, keeping her eyes rooted to the floor.

"I asked you a question."

Silence.

He says her name, tone impatient and short and close to anger. It makes her quake with fear, memories harkening back to incidents of his early cruelty, and she can't bring herself to speak. Not beyond a few short, whimpered words no louder than a mouse's squeak.

"I'm... I'm sorry..." She whispers.

He tries to step toward her again to no avail. She steps back, a choked sob bubbling up from her throat. Her voice is hoarse. "D-Don't. P-Please..."