Stuff I like to write

Tue, August 11

Have, have you ever, ugh, sorry.

Hi, you know me. The, weird, semi-poetic, person here on wattpad. You all probably don't know me outside of my books. And, some of you have seen me in comments. So, I'm here today, to talk to you all about a conversation me, and someone else had.

I'm not too sure what the date was, but, before summer break. I meet a guy in a comment, while reading, and we just talked for a bit, but stoped for a while. I saw his profile pic, and immediately recognized him.

But, when  saw his user name, I was about to laugh. I'm not laughing anymore...

Me, "Did you change your name because of the Coronavirus?"

His new name, is willdiesoon. I don't remember exactly what he said, but I'll try my best.

Him, "No. A girl I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, broke up with me. I'm suicidal now."

Me, "Please, don't. It won't do you, nor anyone else any good. Please don't do it."

Him, "I don't care." And, that's how it ended. I didn't come back to that for a few months. I remembered it yesterday, but...

I scrolled down through my notifications to find the comment, but, it stops at one point. And, I couldn't go all the way...

All I could think was, 'This is my fault! Right?! Why couldn't I do anything more to stop him?! He could already be dead, and I might never know! He could've killed himself, and I wouldn't have known! No one could know!' I was, and still am, in panic. I don't know what to do, what should I do?

I am so lost, but, I keep telling myself, 'No, no. You're over reacting! He's not dead! Surely, he's not! God would make sure of it! Right?!' I keep telling myself this, over, and over, and over again. It scared me so much, that someone could be dead, and I could've done something about it. I was shaking, and nervous laughing last night at this thought. It scared me, a lot.

I, I don't know, what to do...