Poetry

Retrouvaille

Always so harsh on yourself
Under a vicious spell
No one to blame but you,
Whatever they say is True.

Left my hand when I trusted you the most?
Even you think I am not enough?
Living in a mirror world, pretending to be tough, pretending to be robust.

I experienced an epiphany
when my reflection started talking back to me...

It said
You need to be loved,
you need to be praised
No-one was there but even you left me?
You need to remind yourself
You've always been above,
from all those limits you have set.
You have never been cursed,
But you choked yourself in guilt
You're exquisite, you hide and your escapism led you to anarchy,
you let them believe and never let them see.

Always try to push yourself more
You're at the edge and yes you can fall.
Tryna be perfect, you hurt yourself,
break yourself, you don't trust yourself
Your REAL SELF.

They said you're not beautiful and you believed it and left me too?
I put my makeup on and I can't see myself when it's gone.

Who are you? don't look at me!
You're not the one I used to see,
Removed my mask, is this the real me?
So Imperfect, my eyes can't believe it.

I sighed, wanted to cry but someone laughed at me...
I experienced an epiphany when my reflection started talking back to me

It said
Look, how weak you're,
Unchain all your fears, all your tears,
your bare body and scars,
Dance to the music under the night sky, sing out loud and smile... so wide... so your eyes could reflect the stars.
See? How aesthetic you're, trace your every scar you've been trying to hide for years.

Start to appreciate wabi-sabi
yes, make it a real thing,
my reflection said to me
it held my hand and smiled at me.

How ignorant I was?
I need to scope out myself
Not every time think of a rhyme
when I am writing words direct from my heart.
albeit you think too much when it comes to this world
and defy yourself
Putting aside these nefarious thoughts of mine and realised...

It's no one but me I should care for the most
It's no one but me who need love
It won't be anyone but me
my own helping hand
It won't be anyone but me
my forever strength.

~Smriti
(August 12,2020)
(3:00AM)

Note for the readers: I will mention the actual Date and Time I penned it down in my Diary.