Laying next to him, you were unsure of what you'd do. Everything seemed so mundane now and the need for something more was killing you. You felt broken inside but the love you had for him is what kept you holding on.
Slowly getting out of bed, you grabbed the first bag you saw and began packing your things. It was pretty early, as the boys had spent all night partying so you knew you wouldn't have any interruptions. Looking around the room, almost all of your things had accumulated here over the past 6 months and it had become more like home than you ever thought it would. The boys had been your family and leaving them was harder than anything you had ever done before but things were fading quite fast and you knew, with time, it would only get harder.
There was now a pile of bags by the front door and the house looked that much emptier. Trying to hold back the tears, you grabbed a pad of paper and pen, leaving a simple note and taping it to the inside of the front door.
"I'm sorry." Stopping in your tracks, his voice filled the room as he read the two words from the note back to you and suddenly it felt as if every inch of your heart shattered. You were trying to avoid this conversation at all costs. "This is really how you want to do this?" He was never one to show he was upset, he wanted to be as positive as possible but standing there, staring at the note, you heard the pain in his voice. "You weren't even going to say anything?" He asked, getting more and more annoyed with each passing moment. "Are you still not even going to say anything!?" You closed your eyes as he raised his voice, preparing yourself to turn around and look him in the eyes.
"What am I supposed to say, Noah?" You asked, looking into his eyes for the first time that day. "We both knew this was going to happen. Something isn't right here," You said, waving your hand back and forth between you two. "and you belong here, in this house, and I don't."
"(y/n), that's not true! I love you! We can work this out, we can figure out what's going on with us...just please, don't leave like this." Noah begged, taking a step towards you, as the tears finally began to fall from your eyes.
"We've been the same for weeks now, Noah. If there was a way to fix us, we would have done it by now. But with where we are now, there's more reasons to go than stay."
"The fact that you love me should be reason enough to stay."
"It's not enough!" You shouted, afraid of waking the rest of the house. "I love you more than anything in this world, Noah but something isn't right," You repeated, not knowing what else to say. "and this is the only way we're going to figure out what that something is."
The room fell silent as the pain you were feeling was finally sinking in with Noah. He didn't want to lose you but if staying with him hurt you, he accepted that he'd have to let you.
"If you really can't find another reason to stay...then go." He said, looking down at the ground. His refusal to make eye contact with you hurt more than it probably should have but what hurt more was watching the other boys join you and Noah in the foyer. "Go." He repeated, still refusing to look at you.
His eyes closed as you began walking away, wondering if you'd ever have a place in their lives again.
