camellia withlock│draco malfoy ✓

34│my remorse

CHAPTER 34: my remorse

"She was there! You have to believe me. She said, and I quote 'I've trained all my life for this'. What does that even mean?" Harry, Ron and Hermione are sitting in the hospital wing. Harry is explaining to them what happened and what he saw.

"We believe you, mate. But it's a little weird. Melia being a Death Eater?"

"She was with the Malfoy's all summer. Wasn't she?"

"Yes, but-," he cuts himself off. "What do you think, Hermione?" Both boys look at her, "Hermione?"

"Yes, what?" she sees that she has lost some of the conversation, "Sorry..."

Harry looks at the letter in her hand, "Who's that from?"

"It's from Melia," she says casually.

"Melia?! Didn't you hear anything I just said? About her being a Death Eater and that she was at the graveyard?" Harry studies her face before continuing, "You knew, didn't you? That she was a Death Eater? You knew all along and you didn't tell us?"

"Yes, I knew. But only about her being a Death Eater. Nothing else," she looks at Harry and sees his eyes that leak of betrayal. "And this letter is her side of the story."

"Let's hear it then."

"Dear Hermione,

If you read this then it means that my mission is done and that Voldemort is back. You'll probably have heard Harry's side of the story, but I want you to know my side too. So, let's start at the beginning.

As you know I stayed with the Malfoy's all summer. You also know that Bellatrix came a week into summer vacation and that she tortured me for a month. That she destroyed my voice. And that in the end, I gave in. When I gave in, I told myself that it would be the last time I would ever be in that position. I never wanted to be tortured again. And the only way that could happen was if I played along. The only way I could be safe.

At the Quidditch World Cup, I knew what was going to happen. But me and Draco stayed in the tent the whole time and went back to the manor when it was done. I'm glad Harry made it out alright.

My mission was to help Mad-Eye/Crouch jr. to get Harry safely to the last task and when the time was right, I was to go to the graveyard. And I succeeded.

The dragon's Harry got told about was because of me. Crouch jr. put me in charge of making Hagrid do it. And by making, I mean cursing him. I used the Imperius Curse. It was one of two curses I have used. He gave me a small script and then I went to Hagrid.

Around this time, I sent a letter to Sirius, by accident. I told him about what happened at the manor and about the mark, but not about my mission. I was so scared to hear his answer. I thought he was going to hate me. Even though it wasn't my choice.

Then you figured out what I signed to you all those weeks ago. Bellatrix. Took you some time. But I'm glad you found out. You took some great weight from my shoulders. And I started eating more again, sleeping more. Some of it was because of Draco and my new friends, but I think that secret did a lot to me. Hiding it from you was so hard. And when you didn't punch me or hex me after you found out, I was so happy. Happy that you understood and that you could continue loving me.

Sirius sent me a letter a few days after that and told me that he could never hate me and that he forgave me. He even sent me one of my mom's old dresses. I don't know how he had it, but it made me glad that also he continued loving me, just like you.

The day after the Yule Ball, me and Draco had to go to the Malfoy manor for a Christmas party. There, one of the Death Eaters was trying to make me someone they could laugh at and I needed to make him stop. The reason I was in the hospital wing a month after that was because of a spell I made that went wrong. The spell lets you make an illusion of yourself. I did that and when he used the Cruciatus Curse on me it went right through me. They started fearing me after that. Just what I wanted. Not because I liked it, but because they wouldn't dare try to harm me.

Then the second task came around. And yes, the reason I hugged you was because I knew you were going to be put at the bottom of the lake. I was the one who gave Neville the book about gilliweed and I was the one who gave him that gilliweed so that he could give it to Harry.

And what happened next was almost worse than any of the above. I was asked by Crouch jr. to meet him at midnight at the border of the forbidden forest. Then he brought me to a place where he had Barty Crouch Sr. bound. He told me he wanted to teach me something and told me to use the Cruciatus Curse on him. I did. And then Crouch jr. killed him. Right in front of my eyes and I couldn't do anything about it.

When the final task came, I knew it was getting closer to my mission being done. That soon I would meet Voldemort for the first time, and I would see Harry's eyes looking at me with more hate than he has ever hated someone or something before. I wasn't ready for it, but I had to go. When my mark began burning, I apparated to the graveyard. And I stood there just watching what was happening. When Harry left, I asked Voldemort to stay with the Order. I couldn't bear staying at the manor. He said yes, making him think that I wanted to spy on them. That's where I'll be staying this summer, with Sirius.

Albus, Minerva and Severus all knew about my mark already. But they didn't blame me. They helped me get out of the castle and get me safe to Sirius.

I don't know if you'll still forgive me after what I've told you, but I think you're smart enough to understand my decisions. Why I made them and why that was the only way I could think of. I love you Hermione and I care deeply for you.

I'll see you in a few months, 'Mione

Your friend, Melia"

The three sit there stunned over what they just heard. They didn't know she had to do all that. Hermione would forgive her because she understands her point. Ron would also forgive her, it would take some time, but he would understand. But Harry. He would be harder to convince.