The Way of Stormy

Chapter26: the hardest part

-Stormys POV-

The tour was canceled we all went home. Andy went to stay with his parents for a bit, I feel bad but we skype everyday.

When I came home I was greeted by Mikey, my dad, Ray, and Lindsey. Still not use to the fact Lindsey is my kitchen making me food and not Frank. The boys all ask how it was if I'm okay. They want me to talk to them and "vent".

I'm reminded of Ronnie every living second and now they want me to talk about him because not doing so is going to kill me? I already want to die and I have to finish the funeral plans so much stress I want to end it all.

*ray leaves he has a date*

Linsey: so Storms are you okay?

Mikey: please talk to us you can't keep your emotions bottled up

Me: IM NOT O-FUCKING-K I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE.

I run up to my room and lock my door. I sit and cry. Then I grabbed and old friend of mine... the razor. The cuts seem to make everything all better. Seeing the blood. Wanting to be with Ronnie. I lay there blasting me music ignoring the world. After half an hour of zoning out I clean up everything up feeling bad about snapping at my family. Buy that gave me and idea for a song. I'm not o-fucking-k, well I changed it to just I'm not okay.

I go back down stairs to apologize and Mikey hugs me. The 4 of us talk about Ronnie and discuss the funeral. I'm really the only family Ronnie had so I'm keeping most of the stuff. I decided I'll have him cremated and keep the remains and some how put our rings together. I Skype Andy to tell him the plans.

He looks like shit. I wish I could hug and love him I hate seeing my best friend like this.

Andy: can we uh have the funeral in Jersey? Her parents are okay with it as long as they choose the burying place.

Me: yea that's cool I called the funeral home I'll have Ronnie's ashes in a week. We could do it at the Grana Arena for the fans then for the family we could go back to my house.

Andy: Stormy I love you so much. You're so strong in all of this I don't know how you do it.

Me: *i run my fingers across my thighs* I-I don't know I just do and I love you too are when are you coming? You can stay with me.

Andy: I'll get a plane in 3 days so I'll be over soon

We say our goodbye I kiss the screen and end the chat. He thinks I'm so strong but in reality I'm pathetic.

Eventually the 15th arrived. The day I most dreaded. I wore a black Ronnie Radke shirt and black jeans with boots for the fan memorial but later I would change.

The fans were so sweet and caring. I can't believe how many showed up, at least 1000. All heart broke but caring. Some came up and talked about how Ronnie help them through things. A group of people came in trying to bash on Ronnie but were quickly escorted out. Towards the end I decided I would give an acoustic version of escape the fates "when I go out I want to go out on a chariot on fire". I managed to get through the tears and give a good performance. One final good bye to the fans and we all sang "Rolling Stone" of course they left me to do the rapping. which btw is very hard when your choking on tears. Now time for the family funeral.

All of ETF FIR BVB and some other bands were there. Mostly bands and friends. We all sat talking about good times and shit. I changed into a more classy black dress. Andy told me I looked stunning. He was in suit. Lord he should wear those more often. We were all eating and mixed into groups talking before our speeches and stuff I noticed and old women walk to the Ernst and kiss it say a prayer and walk away. I quickly walked out go find her. Down by the lawn I catch up to her.

Me: um hi ma'am

She tries ignoring me so I grab her shoulder. She had black hair like Ronnie and his face just more rugged, worn, and feminine.

Me: ma'am who are you?

Lady: I'm Ronnie's mother. I just wanted to say my last goodbye to my only child.

Me: oh mrs. Radke um wow this is awkward you're welcome to stay I'm so sorry I kn-

Lady: shove it little tramp you don't know how I feel. And judging by your bump you either need to loose some wait or you're the hooker he knocked up.

Me: you have no right to talk to me like that Ronnie was a great man and would have been an even more amazing father.

She mumbled then walked off. As I turn around Ashley was right behind me. He grabbed me hand. "you look wonderful" he told me. "not to bad your self purdy" I shot back with. The little ceremony was about to start.

People talked about Ronnie and how amazing he was even with flaws. We read some quotes by him sang a few songs but now it was time for the real show. Andy and I decided we would preform and acoustic version of "Lost it All". We both got through the tears and finished it. CC and Ash by my side and jinxx and jake at Andy's. Finally it was over. After all the hugs and good byes and good wishes Gee and Linz left me Andy alone to talk.

Andy: soo...

Me:sooo...

Andy: I sold my house.

Me: why the hell did you do that?!?!

Andy: holds to many memories of her.

Me: where you gonna stay?

Andy: I don't know probably crash at Ash's till I find an apartment back in LA.

Me: I've always wanted to live in Southern California you know like San Diego and San Francisco.

Andy: it's a nice area you should probably move out tree to be with the band sooner or later when we start back up.

Me: you wanna start back up? Already?

Andy: yea I know you do too don't tell me you don't already have songs written like I do! I wanna get back out there an be with the fans.

Me: haha we would by a condo together and be roomies!!!!!

Andy: haha sure *sticks his tongue out at me* did I ever tell you how stunning you look in that dress?

Me: save it Biersack I'm lesbian but you look pretty good in your monkey suit.

Andy: lesbian? Hot! Haha what ever come dance with me.

For the next hour we danced to P!ATD FOB ATL and all those bands. Both of us having a little to drink I didn't really care if my dad caught me. We laid on the couch talking about BVB, life, and my baby. It took us awhile to decide a name. Hunter? Dean? Sam? I finally noted I wanted Ronnie's name to live on so we decided Ronald Gerard Radke.

Andy: I like it, actually, I love it.

Me: wait there's something missing! I'm gonna name it Ronald-Andrew Gerard Radke.

Andy: I'm not worthy of that storms you don't have too.

Me: but I want too

Andy: well okay little Ronnie-Andy it is. Let's watch a movie.

~A/N~

Cutting this one short gonna make it into 2 parts