We created this book for those aspiring writers who wants to improve their story.
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Started: August 11, 2020
Status: TEMPORARILY CLOSED FOR CATCH UP.
Finished: ---
Here's our honest critique on your story, The Golden Rule of Arkania.
You can correct us if ever you saw something wrong. We apologize in advance for that. We're not professionals, we make mistakes, and we are not perfect.
I have something to suggest with your story description.
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
On your last sentence which is "and the four kings won't let her go." You can use the word 'but' instead of 'and'. Well, it's because she's opposing, she wanted to go 'but' the four kings won't let her go.
❁
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
"All floors are marble." You can replace the word 'were' with 'are'. Because, it's doesn't have any verb in a past tense form.
I think "all floors are marble" or "the floor was made of marble," was better to read.
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
People were wearing their finest gowns and suits.
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
