Saving Eddy

5

I pretended to sleep when Eddy finally came home and entered our bedroom. I felt his movements, as he silently took off his clothes and laid down beside me as we have been doing for months. But tonight felt different. Everything he has been doing are nothing from the ordinary but still felt very different anyway.

"Brett, are you still awake?" He asked. I didn't know why I didn't answer, I didn't know why I pretended to not hear him.

He released a huge sigh. "I most probably won't get this courage ever again, so whether you actually hear it or not, here goes.. I think I'm bisexual, Brett."

I felt like I've been stabbed in my heart. Which practically makes so much sense now since I've actually been stabbed already. I heard him take a deep breath before grabbing a pillow in between us and making himself comfortable.

*************************************************

Eddy was still asleep when I decided to continue packing the rest of my stuff. If Eddy's gonna be dating some guy, it won't be cool to be sleeping in one bed.

"Brett, do you have extra strings? I thought I still had a pack but seems like I've already used it." Eddy asked me while we were practicing.

"Yeah, it's in my case in the other room. Can you also grab my charger? It's in my bag."

He walked out of that room with the strings and my whole damn bag in tow.

"Bro, why haven't you unpacked? Your clothes will get wrinkled if you keep it in your bag like that."

...

"About that Eddy. I think it's better if I move back out."

He was quiet for a moment before finally looking at me. "You heard what I said last night, didn't you?"

I just nodded.

"Okay. I understand."

I didn't see him for the rest of the day despite being in the same house. I was able to pack all my stuff and was about ready to say goodbye to him who was busy playing video games.

"Eddy..." I tried to start but no words came next.

He dropped the controller and looked at me.

"Brett, I'm so sorry. I didn't know what I was thinking. It's just that me and Will were talking last night.."

"It's okay Eddy. You and your boyfriend don't have to explain."

"Boyfriend?!!" Eddy almost gasped. "He's not my boyfriend, Brett!"

"Okay fine. You and your date last night don't have to adjust to me."

"Brett, can you listen to me first? I wasn't on a date last night."

"C'mon mate, who makes reservations just for two in a very fancy restaurant?"

"Us?" He challenged.

"Besides from us." I rolled my eyes.

"Brett, remember at uni? When my classmate plagiarized my homework and we both got in trouble?"

Uh oh. "Yeah?"

"Well, it was that guy. He saw us from the news and got in touch with me. He's just repaying his debt. Also, he's married now with a lovely woman from our class with a baby on its way."

Ohhhhhh....

"But why did you suddenly come out last night?"

I saw his face pale at my question.

"Brett,  I don't think it's a good idea. It's a pandora's box for us."

"For us? What do I have to do with it?"

"Only just  about everything" he mumbled so quietly I almost didn't catch it. "Maybe I just had too much wine last night. You know I don't really drink." He shook his head as if trying to wake himself up and smiled. "Anyway, are you ready to go? I'll drive you home."

"Let's talk about this Eddy." I almost pleaded. "What happened last night that made you come out?"

Eddy sighed. "Will asked about me. He asked about any gf, plans for the future, of settling down and I got nothing to say. He asked me where I see myself in the future, maybe 5-10 years from now and I saw nothing else except you and violin playing. You're my constant. You were since we were very young."

"Okay? But it's the same for me Eddy."

"The thing is, I couldn't imagine bringing another person into our lives. I couldn't imagine having a gf or even a bf because you would always be my priority over whoever that person may be. I am also deadly afraid of what my reaction would be when you finally find a person you like."

"Do you feel like we are in limbo?" Finally getting his point. "That doesn't make you bisexual or gay though."

"I don't know Brett. My drunk brain thinks differently from when I'm sober."

"Why? What did you think?"

"If we were gay, if we were in a relationship.. Nah. nah. Forget it. I don't know where I'm going on with this. My brain is too sober for this."

"Wanna have a drink with me?"

Eddy looked at me quizzically at first then relief took over his face.

"Damn. Yes!"