Burned Out - A BadBoyHalo Fanfiction

3: Getting Stronger

               The night passed slowly and included a lot of pacing and muttering for Bad. But after the long hours he could see the sun filtering through the blinds over his windows.
               Looking at the clock, he saw that it was 7 a.m. He had shadows under his eyes and his dark hair stuck out in random directions from running his hand through it so many times.
               A notification popped up on his phone, the first once since a6d's messages. It was from YouTube:

Skeppy uploaded: Beating MineCraft on Impossible ++++++ mode with French man

               It was the video Skeppy had talked to Bad about making with him, but of course, Bad had declined. He regretted it, but part of him was glad he didn't have to talk to anyone.
               His phone screen turned black and he saw his reflection once again. The crack still ran through the center of the screen, but it was less visible.
                Even to himself he looked tired. His emerald green eyes were dull and his hoodie was wrinkled.
                Ugly. "How can he even show his face?"  "He should do us all a favor and just pull the trigger."
                "GO AWAY!" Bad screamed, holding back a sob. It didn't work, soon enough he felt hot tears falling down his face.
                "Just stop, please." He cried quietly.
                "Bad?"
                "Good?" He barely managed to speak before another sob wracked his body.
                "You know those things aren't true."
                "But they all say it-"
                "No." Bad felt the sensation of being wrapped in someone else's arms, of being held and comforted like a child.
                "I will always be here for you."
                 The feeling disappeared, but the words remained in his head. Finally, he had someone he could rely on. Or so he thought.
                 Tears still fell from his eyes, but the streams were slowing. He felt weak and worthless, subject to everything others thought of him.
                "Just don't listen to them."
                "I can't," said Bad, his voice cracking. "They're all I can hear."
                "Then listen to something else. Listen to me."
                "Why can't I be like you?"
                There was silence.
                "What?"
                "You don't care what anyone would think of you. You're confident. You're better than me."
                He didn't know what he was saying anymore, only that he meant every word.
                "I could help you."
                "Please,"
                "If you let me, I can help. When you don't know what to say I'll say something for you. When you don't know what to do I'll do something for you. When you're tired I can do everything while you rest."
                 "Okay." Anything sounded better than what he had been enduring for the past months. Especially being able to do nothing while still getting things done.
                 Bad giggled. But he didn't feel like giggling. Bad smiled, but he didn't feel like smiling. He was fine with it. If Good was happy, he could be happy too.
                 He was hardly even scared anymore. He remembered his fear from earlier, being afraid of not being in control. It seemed so irrational now.
                 He was crying. Good was laughing. He felt empty, but the arms came back, encircling him, keeping him safe.
                 The tears abruptly stopped and silence filled the room. A small, warm feeling spread through his body. It started in his chest, spreading to his feet, hands, head.
                 "Thank you," whispered Bad, breaking the silence. The feeling dissipated, but the memory remained.
                 He left his room, going to get something to eat, but looking at what he had, he didn't think he could. Instead he brewed himself another cup of coffee, but this time added sugar and some cream. He had never liked sweet coffee, but Good did.
                 After feeding Rat and letting her run around outside for a few minutes, he went back to his room, phone in one hand, coffee in the other.
                 Opening Twitter, he saw a post that made his heart drop.
                 "Bad hasn't made a video in a while. Maybe he finally helped us out and died."
                 "Don't listen to them. Listen to me. I love you. They don't."
                 Good's words made Bad feel slightly better. At least there was one person in the world who loved him. He closed Twitter, not wanting to see anything else, set his coffee and phone on his desk, and sat down in front of his computer.
                 He supposed he could try to record a video, that couldn't hurt. Right?
                 He logged into his server, glad to see Skeppy hadn't done any griefing recently. He started to set up the video, getting to a good spot for the intro and starting up his recording software.
                 Subconsciously he began reading the chat.
              
What idiot runs this server?

This is so stupid.

Bad just uses Skeppy, he should be ashamed.

He should just kill himself already.

                He glanced down as the last message scrolled by. He sat, staring at the screen, feeling nothing but numbness. All of the thoughts came rushing back.
                "Fine."
                He stood up, not even bothering to turn off the computer.
                "Bad what are you doing?"

Ugly. Idiot. Stupid. Worthless.

                He reached the bathroom, seeing his disheveled form in the mirror.
                "Bad answer me now," Good's voice was becoming frantic.

Do us a favor...
Just die already...
He doesn't deserve anything he has...

                Bad's face was emotionless, but a tear streaked down his face. With shaking hands he picked up a razor from the counter.
                "Bad! Don't do it!"
                He rolled up his sleeve. Slowly the blade got closer to his skin. It drew a drop of blood and Bad gasped. He tried to push harder.
                "Bad! NO!"
                Suddenly Bad felt as though he had been pushed back, but he hadn't moved anywhere. He tried to push the razor down, but nothing happened.
                "What are you doing?!" He tried to say, but it seemed to float through the air.
                "I'm not letting you hurt yourself."
                Good spoke, but the words came out of Bad's mouth. Bad felt like he was watching his motions through a movie screen. But they weren't his motions anymore.
                Good threw down the razor, as far away from himself as he could get it. He hurriedly washed the arm, pushing against it with a square of toilet paper until he could get to the first aid kit.
                Bad watched as Good bandaged the cut, tenderly wrapping the bandage around his arm.
                Bad was forced back into his own body, everything hitting him like a cold splash of water. His eyes widened in horror as he realized what he had done.
                His hands started shaking again and he felt yet another wave of tears coming. He could have died. And he would have done it to himself.
                "You saved me, Good."
                "I better not have to do it ever again."
                "Thank you."

                                                                       

A/N: Hello again! Like I said, this chapter was DARK. I feel so bad for the poor muffin. I'm not sure if what I wrote made sense in some parts so I want to explain a little.

*Ahem* okay here we go, basically, Good is feeding Bad all of these terrible thoughts but Bad doesn't know it's Good. When Bad starts to feel bad (isn't that ironic) Good comforts him and makes him feel better, gaining his trust. Good starts to affect the way Bad is acting, like when he adds sugar to his coffee, and finally Bad allows Good to actually have the ability to take over his body. He does this when he tells him "okay" after Good explains how he can help Bad. Think of this as like how a vampire can't enter a house until you give it permission. Bad gets drove over the edge and tries to kill himself, but Good saves him, gaining even more trust.

So yeah that's kinda it. Well I suppose I should write the next chapter huh? Hope you like it!

Chapter word count: 1317 words