the lonelier version of you

fate?

I sat there with my laptop open on my lap but I was looking out the tour bus window at the rain and the darkining sky. I mindlessly chewed at my thumb nail as I sat there on the bus couch staring into space. I had no idea what state we were in, last time I checked we were in Michigan.

I thought about the idea of being this close to her. It was my fault and I knew it. Have I ever made a good decision? I wondered what she was doing right now, probably dancing. The thought made a small smile come to my face. I felt like I had in fact ruined her life like she said I did. I felt bad, she didn't deserve that shitty phone call. I made a huge mistake.

"You alright man?" I herd Pete's voice ask from beside me snapping me out of my thoughts. I turned to look at him.

"Huh? Yeah. Yeah I'm alright. Where are we?" I asked him and he shrugged.

"Indiana! About to hit Illinois." I heard Andy yell from his bunk.

This was in fact a miracle. My mind began to turn like cogs in a machine. How would I go about this? I had no idea, but I packed my things regardless.

As soon as I began to see the familiar Chicago skyline I knew I was about to get my chance.

The bus stopped at a rest stop and I hurriedly grabbed my things as the guys looked at me.

"Where are you going?" Pete looked up from his phone and asked me.

"I really don't know." I said and rushed off the bus almost tripping on my way down the steps.

I sat in my hotel room pacing. I decided to walk down the street and look for a coffee shop. I felt like I had been awake for far too long.

I try to keep my head down in public so I don't get noticed somehow. Something did catch my eye though, I hadn't even been looking for it. A poster for Cinderella the ballet tomorrow night. She had told me a few months ago she would be in this. Every thing was miraculously falling into place as if I was supposed to do all of this. I actually stole the poster from where it was stapled on an electric post.

I felt some relief come over me. I had thought I'd never get to see her again and this was my chance to try to fix things. I was scared though, maybe it was of seeing her again, maybe it was fear of rejection, or maybe it was the thought of her possibly having someone else. Should I eben be tracking her down again, wouldn't I just look creepy again. As I started walking to the coffee shop again I wondered if I should just go but not speak to her. Maybe I should just let her be free.

Hey guys! You guys seriously leave the sweetest comments for me on here, thank you so much. The sweetness keeps me writing this.