Chaotic Peace

1. Check your Phone

The lock clicked open as I turned the key. The first thing I did was to just put on the light, throw down my handbag on the coffee table and I plopped down onto my sofa, slithering down onto it like goop. Caressing the soft, smooth fabric of the musty old sofa, I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of my apartment.

Oh sweet Becky! May the Gods bless her I thought as I caressed the sofa, a perfect house-warming gift.

I closed my eyes as stroking my sofa, thoughts running amok in my head. Why couldn't just I lay there and escape from all my problems and responsibilities of my adult life?

Life was so easy, so much better when younger. Why did I wish to grow up? And, why did I grow up so early? What the fuck happened to having actual fun?

Life happened Aris, life happened, said the voice in my head.

I know.

And you suck at it.

Oh, shut up you annoying bitch!

Before my closed eyes, came the picture of my mom's text from hours ago:

"See you at Cuisine Du Paradis at sharp 8:15 p.m. Don't be late, the whole family will be there- including your sister's husband- so be in time."

Scoffing, I thought- another one of my mom's perfect family dinner, with perfect people, except for me; an embarrassment and failure of a daughter, of course, I did very much look forward to it.

Well, you were perfect up until some years or so... or you thought you were, the voice said in a mocking tone.

I groaned internally. Not down that lane again I thought to myself. I had thought about it so many times, and every time I did think about it- it would just end up draining more and more energy within me. How had I become what I was? I had been an ideal daughter, an excellent student, later I even had the perfect I job I ever wanted too, had the perfect friends and, the perfect body and, now? Nothing! How had my life gone so horribly wrong?

Oh honey, you don't want to tap down that lane now, said the voice shaking her head.

Right you are, I agreed for once with the inner me because, at some deeper level I knew, it had all been me. Life had been so generous and kind to me and I had taken it all for granted. I was the cause of all my problems and I made no efforts to help myself- that made it all the more pathetic.

Okay, enough of self-criticism, I thought. I needed to get away from everything for a while; only if, someone could drop in from the skies and take me far, far away.

Don't be that unrealistic Aris, the inner voice rolled its eyes at me, you're not a kid anymore.

I sighed.

The thought of cancelling the family dinner came to my mind and I decided upon it. Of course, I was an adult- the next day I was to turn twenty-four. I could do anything I wanted, grandma would understand, I knew. As for mom, I would make something up.

So, it was decided, a night full of food and escaping the crappy reality through- what would be my mode of escape this time? Books, movies or painting something new or listening to sad music? I decided upon good old, classic books- Harry Potter, maybe.

Taking in a deep breath I thought, Ah! Peace. Peace, at last.

BANNNGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!

My eyes immediately snapped open as a crash from my bedroom startled me. Groaning, I got my ass up from the sofa and ran towards the bedroom. The sight in front of me made me stop right in my tracks, at the door.