Tony sickfic

Chapter 21

Gibbs had been driving for about an hour when he got to the cemetery where his daughter had been laid to rest. Megan Stephanie Gibbs lost more than fifteen years ago at the age of nine in a drive-by shooting. She had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

Parking the sedan at the edge of the drive, he sat in the car, hands gripping the wheel tightly as he worked up the nerve to exit the car. His gaze scanned his surroundings out of habit, taking note of the gray day and how well it suited the situation. 

With a sigh, he exited the car and walked towards the headstone of polished marble with an angel perched atop it. Carved into the pink speckled marble was her name, the dates of her birth and death and the words AN ANGEL TAKEN HOME TOO EARLY.

The last time he'd been there to visit his daughter had been the first time he'd met Tony. Oh, God, the irony of it all. It was in this godforsaken city that he'd lost the only person he'd ever loved with all his heart...until now. He remembered thinking during that last visit that he would never love again. How wrong he'd been. It had been on that very day that he'd met Tony, hiring him on that same day. And while it was a different kind of love he felt for Tony, it was still a heartfelt love.

That last time he'd been here to pay his respects to his daughter. Now he was here to ask her for a sign. He wasn't the most religious person, but it seemed there had to be more to it, him finding the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with after visiting his daughter. Surely there was more behind it since he didn't even question his love for another man.

Now that man had been asked to look after a child, a daughter about the same age as Megan. A child his lover only knew casually but was great with nonetheless. But he could see Tony being good with just about any child since at times he thought Tony had never grown up and was just a big kid himself. It was part of Tony's charm and part of the reason why he loved him so much.

He was still standing in front of her headstone but eventually knelt down on one knee. Images flooded his mind of trips they'd taken as a family. They'd gone to Disney World once and various other places around the US. They'd been happy. 

But then that day had happened, that horrible, awful day when his daughter had been taken away forever. It was why he and his first wife had divorced. There had been problems beforehand. They had, in fact, been separated a week before the drive-by. But rather than bringing them together again, the death of their daughter had been the final nail in the coffin of their marriage.

Flooded with memories of his precious angel, he started to well up. But he didn't let the tears fall. He couldn't. Not yet. He'd erected a dam against his emotions years ago, a barrier to keep others from getting too close. The second B was, after all, for bastard. Only Tony had found his way around those barriers.

"Meg, I've met someone. His name is Tony. I love him with all my heart, and I know you would have loved him, too. And I told him, Meg. I finally told him I love him." 

Unable to completely hold back the tears, a single droplet tracked down his face.

"I let him in, Meg, into my heart and into my life. I haven't done that for a lot of people. He managed to find his own way past the walls. Now I've let him know I love him and already he's turned my life upside down."

One corner of his mouth lifted momentarily as he thought of Tony.

"I want to be there for him, angel. I'm GOING to be there for him. But it's not just him, Megan. There's a little girl, a little girl who lost everything and only has Tony. And if she has Tony, then she has me."

He reached out and lightly traced her name on the headstone.

"I just needed you to know that I'll never replace you. Yes, I hope Jenny will want me in her life. She's a great little girl. But she will never replace you. No one can ever replace you. You are my special angel, and you'll always be my beautiful daughter. But now there's a little girl who needs someone to love her, to be there for her, and I want to do that. I hope you can understand that. Can you understand that?"