STILL THE ONE

Chapter 34 - I Get Worried

I get worried
I might lose you a little
Every time we
Every time we argue and get caught up in the moment

I don't know what it's like to be you
I don't know what it's like but I'm dying to
If I could put myself in your shoes
Then I'd know what it's like to be you

So tell me what's inside of your head
No matter what you say I won't love you less
And I'd be lying if I said that I do
I don't know what it's like to be you
I don't know what it's like to be you
I don't know what it's like

Shawn was in their bedroom, waiting for Camila to arrive and tearing his hair out.  There was no way they could cope with this on their own.  They needed professional help or neither of them would get through it.  He had spoken to the midwife and she had made some recommendations and he had spoken to some of those in the last couple of days before they allowed Camila to leave the hospital.  He had to choose someone by himself, and he hoped Camila found her suitable.  She was due to arrive any moment.

Camila walked in, or limped in more like it, and she looked exhausted, but seeing him her face lit up. 

"How are you going?" she asked wearily.

"This little lady," he said, referring to his daughter, sleeping peacefully in his arms, her swathe of dark hair stark against his bare arm, "is sound asleep at last, but this little guy" he referred to the screaming baby in the crib beside the bed, "wants Mama's boobs". 

She smiled wanly.  "Come on," he said.  Her stood up and gently laid the baby in her crib and took Camila's hand, guiding her to the big comfortable rocker he'd bought for her.  She sat down and put her feet up on the ottoman. There was a bottle of cool water on the table beside her along with a towel and some other things she needed for nursing.  He picked up his red faced wriggling son, marvelling that he hadn't woken his twin sister, and waited while Camila got herself ready, then laid him in her arms so that she could place him to the breast.  She winced, he was a hard sucker and she was not yet used to breastfeeding, but her mother assured her she would get there, it was not as easy and natural as everyone made out, she said, but it was worth it to persevere. 

The doorbell chimed and Shawn jumped up.  "That will be the baby nurse, I'll go let her in."

He almost ran to the door and opened it to see a middle-aged woman with an attractive, happy face, stylish glasses covering her large brown eyes, her hair hidden beneath a blue hijab.  She wore jeans and a loose t-shirt with the agency name on it and she carried a large bag and wheeled a small suitcase. He loved her already.

"Hi, I'm Mahira, you must be Shawn," she said with a smile. He realised immediately she had no idea who he was.  He loved her doubly now.

"I'm so glad you're here," he said with relief.

She laughed. "You have no idea how often I hear that! Where are Mom and babies? Lead the way."  As if in reply, a baby's cry pealed out through the house.  He hoped it was JJ, and he hadn't woken his sister.  "Ah I think I can find it myself!"  They both climbed the stairs and he led her to the master suite where the twin cribs were beside their bed. 

"This little angel," he said, indicating the sleeping baby. "Is Liliana, we call her Lily.  And the noisy one is John James, we call him JJ."

"And I'm Camila, I apparently come third on the list," his wife said drily.  Whoops.

"Mila, this is Mahira, she's our new baby nurse."

"I am SO pleased to meet you!" Camila said. She managed to get JJ to latch back on with difficulty and Mahira stepped forward.