Jerrie One Shots

August

A/N: This oneshot is so precious to me because when I was writing this, it feels like I am telling one of my most important stories in life. This is somehow an insight to what happened to me just months ago. I interpreted this song from Taylor Swift's new album in a way that I can relate my life to it.

Also, this will be very long but I hope that you take the time to read this. This will be worth reading because I deeply connected to this oneshot. Your support would really mean the world to me. Hope you'll like this. ;)

Jade's POV

"I have time today. Can you meet me behind the mall?", she told me over the phone just a little time after I woke up and knowing myself, I could never resist her. I would always say yes to her requests. But unfortunately, no matter how much I want to give in to her, I need to prepare for an important event in my College tomorrow and I don't have much time left.

"Jade? Are you alright babe?", she pulled me out of my worries with her soft voice.

"I want to but I have something very important to do so...", I confessed to her.

"Something more important than me?", she challenged me but there's a hint in her voice that I know would want to make me guilty and bail on my supposed plans today just to be with her.

"Don't be like that.", I stopped her assumptions. I already have today ironed out and now she comes out of nowhere after a long time of no contact to ask me to go somewhere like that.

"Like what? Like I haven't missed my best friend slash sister and want to spend time with her while she wants to be busy with said more important things? Or what?", she dodged back. This woman.

You read it right. She is in fact my best friend but most of the times, her roles in my life change every time. She can also be my teacher, sister, confidant, human diary and my lover.

You read that right again. I don't know what's going on between Perrie and I but I know that I love her more than what she thinks. I've grown attached to her and there were a lot of times that I thought that my feelings for her can be reciprocated – that she likes me back – but I was always mistaken by that.

There were times that we would go on with our lives without talking to each other for months then she would reach out to me when she needs me, she would made me feel her support, her love and she would act as if we were together and then when she's finally okay, she would go back to her habits and leave me in a misery, wondering if what we had was ever real. She would give me mixed signals and I remember thinking I had her. It feels like I am in nirvana for a short while then I would be pulled out of it and be taken back to hell without her presence again.

It hurts so much on my side knowing that I can only ever be her past time but I couldn't bring myself to pull out of this unhealthy habit of adoring her. Some people might say that I should conquer these consequences if I really wanna be with her. I should endure all of it even though I know that she can never give me an assurance that she will stay in my life. After all, she is not mine.

"Jade? Are you still there?", she stopped the flow of my thoughts once more with her voice that I love hearing. It's like I'm living for every part of her, craving for her mere presence in my life, even just a glimpse of her would make me fall to my knees. She got me wrapped around her finger and I don't know why I let her. I have no idea how to fight back my longing for her.

"Yeah, I'm still here.", I responded shortly.

"I really miss you, you know.", she spoke again, using that sweet voice of her that she knows she can use for me and I would not have any more reasons to say no to her.