pain, it's such an easy word to say, but everybody suffers differently. they don't understand, "oh I'm in pain" "I'm just in pain" no you're not. You're not in the bubbling horrific hatred. You're not wanting to erase every emotion and turn into a robot. It's more than pain. It's a deep ache, a longing, for one that I loved, who is now gone, forever.
i don't know how to cope. everything I look at in my room seems so superficial, the problems in the world, superficial, nothing means anything now. It doesn't. Mean. Anything.
Now you're gone, I'm so lost. I just want to hold you, kiss you, reassure you, hold your hand, talk to you...dance with you.
But it's too late. I just wish I could go back, and be there for her. Notice the signs! Save her life, she was so beautiful...so, so beautiful. Every time I saw her my heart would be crushed with emotion, and my mind would sky rocket, imagining our future.
But now it's just me, empty, alone, angry, confused. still in denial. how am i supposed to move on when we were so close, Hannah? We were so close.
My mind transports me back to the night at Jessica's. And I begin thinking. What if I had stayed? Would anything have changed? What if I hugged her? What if I'd held her? What if I'd just been a listening ear?
This world lives on what if. It's their energy, their supplement. I will never know why she did it. And I can't bring her back
I wish I could.
I go to close my window when I see a shooting star and I instantly close my eyes and think of Hannah. Just wanting to hold her again, when I open my eyes I'm still alone.
Maybe i won't be much longer?
YOU ARE READING
you can try
Fanficclay is really struggling with hannahs death, and so one night, he goes to the window and sees a shooting star, instantly making a wish, but when he wakes up the next day, he's transported back to five months ago, the day of Hannah's death. now he k...
