Duty or Love?

Confusion

After the whole charade with Thor's Hammer, the whole team made our way back to the Quinjet which Tasha had just landed on the Valley floor. Tony and Thor escorted Loki back to his seat and strapped him in to avoid his escape. Tasha warned the rest of us to get comfortable for the ride back towards that shield aircraft carrier that could also float in the sky. Sometimes, these mortal inventions still surprised me despite me being around for the invention of technology itself here on Midgard. I had watched everything happen here on Midgard, I was at least 1000 years old, I had lost count, but that was still young in the age of an Asgardian. I was only around 200 years old when I came to Midgard all those years ago. I had watched humanity grow, fall and rise again to glory.

We took our seats in the Quinjet and began planning our next stage of our quest. The tesseract was still lost as well as some of our own agents and Dr Selvig. We may have captured the man who had caused everything but there was still had lot more to solve. Tony and Steve had seated themselves at the front end of the Quinjet and were discussing strategies with Tasha who at the same time was trying to make sure that their distracting didn't make us crash. Thor was walking aimlessly around, taking in everything that was happening including the jet itself. Thor being Asgardian like me but unlike me was confused about such a device that was hovering in thin air. I knew they had special crafts in Asgard that could fly but the concept of electricity was unknown, and engines was something that we never used unlike the mortal race.

My seat was towards the back of the jet. I often kept to myself mainly because I was different to all the other shield agents. They didn't have special powers like my magic, and I was practically alien to them. I remember when shield first started; they wanted to conduct experiments on me to find out if I was structurally different to them. Howard Stark was the name of the guy. He assured me that I would be completely safe and well by the end of the experiments. However, I remember sitting on the balcony over watching the Super soldier experiment where the guy sat just a few feet from me had excruciating pain inflicted on him for the sake of science. I was never going to be experimented on, they would have to keep their wonder to themselves. I wonder if Tony wound want to find out how nosy his Dad was when it came to the concept of aliens and dissections. Probably best I do not tell him.

"Why?" a familiar voice drew me out of my memories, and I looked up and saw Loki who was seated opposite me locked up tightly in his chair attached to the wall of the Quinjet. There was no way he was getting out of there. "What?" I said looking up at him and trying to look anywhere but his eyes. They may have been different then I remember them. They would shine like emeralds but now they were blue, they shone like diamonds or stars. "Why did you not tell me?" he asked. A wave of confusion clouded me as I tried to figure out what he meant. Honestly my memories back on Asgard were vague. I had tried to suppress them for years to block out the pain and memory of that place that I once called home. "Why did you not tell me how you felt when you left?" His voice was soft, almost sad as I recalled the day he was speaking of. The day I left Asgard. It had been his wedding day, to a woman who had just come into my life and stole everything I every loved. The pain and misery flooded back into my mind just thinking about it. "How could I!" I snapped "You were never mine. It was your wedding day. It would be wrong for me to ruin something that made you so happy. I did the best thing for both of us and removed myself from the situation." I looked down, fighting the tears to not fall. I would not cry, not in front of him. I remember the days where he would be the only one I felt strong enough to cry in front of. "The day you left was the day I felt like I lost a piece of my heart, I lost of piece of myself." He looked towards me with longing and sadness. Something I had not seen in a long time. After I left, I had become cold and emotionless. Its only makes it weirder that they day I feel more emotion then what I have felt in a long while, is the day that he comes back into my life. "How did you know?" I asked, I recall nobody I knew telling him. "Mother." He said "she told me just as you left down the Bifrost. I couldn't help but grin slightly. Typical Frigga, she knew everything, and she obviously knew that I would have enough courage to tell him myself. Just then the sight of the carrier came into view. "Prepare for Landing" Tasha announced.