THE NEONPRINT

JOURNAL OF CERVO IGNIS I

August 2016 

His promise was more than I could've asked for. Something inside of me was born out of pure love the moment he took care of me, the moment my blood stained his spirit and mind. I spontaneously combusted into a phoenix bird when I shaved him, when the hairs on the blade crystalized into a garden of grass full of lust. My iris dilating with the same rhythm as his, when the emerald green and the sapphire met at the boundaries of the celestial eyes.

Maybe it was his muscular chest, the right bigger than the left, an anomaly of God that was just for my mouth to feed upon; the sweat and grease to lubricate my throat so all his toxins could become mine.

And it was sad, for he didn't know he was my sun and God's son, the Holy Spirit of my heart strings that cried and mourned his fortresses--only place where peace found me.

Rumour had it that the portal to heaven was his torso and only by absorbing the light of a thousand stars could you open it. He was light, a devil shining bright, brighter than a firefly when you hear the wind of July cry.

I walked through Hell's gate to find something more alluring, a sin I could drown in. I saw witches burning at the stake, I saw soldiers fighting for nothing, I saw my abusers and accusers, the past of a sore loser; but the sight of my Sun Devil was back on earth, there was nothing in the metaphysical that could compare to him.

And I screamed, "Save me!"

And his light shone upon me

I saw myself at the altar, white roses floating on the water and two rings on our fingers. But it was just in my mind, and I managed to wake up in time, and the church bells didn't chime; perhaps I was aware of the flames, when they blaze and they leave your lungs out of air.

But what's a piece of meat against destiny? Nothing, for the cross is for the soul to bear. Ours were intertwined, headbutting each other by the power of archangels. It was imperative that I fought for our love, to not go against God's wish for me.

And, Ace, if you ever get a chance to read this I want you to know: I never felt my parents absence the way others do, and it's all your fault. I had all the love I needed right by my side, and I will forever regret hiding for 5 years away from you. When Lilith invited me over I didn't think twice, I showed at your door. And though I dashed when you overwhelmed me, the touch of your hand healed me

See you tomorrow, Ace!

When I wake up, your hair is the first smell to breathe in. Nothing worse, nothing better...