Nightmares (A SeaMexican Fanfiction)

Prologue

Day 6 since it all started:

The nightmares.

The loneliness.

The screams.

The hope.

As I lay in bed, wondering if I really want to dream again, I feel my heart painfully thump in my chest and tears start to fall.

"I can't." I whisper to myself.

I feel my eyelids grow heavy and my eyes close. I'm greeted by darkness, then the dream.

~Dream~

I wake up in my bed, then sit up. I walk to the room they had shared before it happened and they're both there, talking, laughing, having a good time. Then the image changes. It changes to a dark room, with blood everywhere and the words I had found written on the wall in blood.

I'm sorry

I feel the tears fall and taste the metallic taste of blood.

What have I done?.....

Why?....

I'm sorry.....

~End Dream~

I wake up crying like every other night, and sit up, hugging my knees tight.

"I'm sorry." I whisper as the dread washes over me as I remember my nightmare.

Day 24 Since it all started:

I sit in my room like every other day playing video game, or listening to music. I decide I've been a hermit and haven't been out of my room at all today, so i walk to the kitchen and get something to eat.. I hear yelling, like always. The yelling never stops... they are yelling about what happened.

I feel my chest start to hurt and the tears in my eyes quickly fall, I escape the kitchen and go back to my room. I am left with my thoughts and the knife.

"No one cares." I say to myself as I slice the skin on my wrist.

"I am nothing"

I feel the cold metal slice through my skin once, twice, three times, then some. I am left with my arms bleeding and I start to feel dizzy. I get up and then quickly put the knife away, thinking about what I've done.

"I'm an idiot.. Is this what I want?" I ask myself, then sigh loudly as I clean up my arms and put a bandage on them. I lay down in my bed and cry, because I know what's next.. The Nightmares.

The nightmares.... they make it hard to sleep...

I keep having these dreams, where everything is alright, but.... they don't last... something eventually goes wrong... In my dreams, and real life..

I'm done.

Done caring.

Done dreaming.

Done with the nightmares.

I will be a shell of my inner self until I can leave.

I promise I will try... but... it's hard... and.... to be honest... i can't overcome what I truly want...

and that.... is to leave...

for that, I am sorry....

I sit up in bed as I rub my tired eyes, and look at the time.

3:00.... in the freaking morning... great.

I curl up into a ball and sit on my bed. I stare at nothingness, and think about what could happen. I want to cry, but no tears come, I'm not angry, sad, happy, just... here.