Dear My Devil

27 | spoken words

🎶 Your Moonlight - CHEN 💖

= I'm going to erase all the painful past days. I'm happy, you're always a dream to me. You are already enough. =

A/N: I broke down once when I heard this song because it hits so close to home 😔 was so emotional when I wrote this chap and I hope it touches your heart too! Whatever you're going through, know that it will be okay again. ✨

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I'm in a... coma?

"We shouldn't have let her leave the house," Mom sobbed weakly. "We should've been nicer to her. We should've tried to explain ourselves instead of letting her hate us. We should've tried harder when she pushed us away. Honey, we were wrong to think this was the best for her. Look at her now, my poor baby... she's awfully skinny and tired and now, she's unconscious..." She broke down even more.

"Please Judy, you need to calm down," Dad said. "We have to stay strong for her at times like this, okay?"

The gentleness in his voice... I miss it so much. Dad was always warm and endearing like that.

"I asked Jack to pack some clothes for me. I'll stay with her here until she wakes up," Mom said after a while.

"Sure, let's do that. I'll get my stuff with him too," Dad agreed.

"Don't you need to go? You have a business trip and the flight is tonight. You should be leaving for the airport now."

"I cancelled it of course. Work is not important right now. We'll stay here together until she wakes up... I'm not leaving this time." Dad said.

And that completely tore down my walls.

I really wish I could open my eyes then and tell them not to worry. I wish they knew that I could hear them. I wish I could tell Mom to stop crying and hurting because of me.

I can't believe I once prayed for them to feel hurt because of me and I hate myself so much for it right now. It took me so long to realise that they weren't horrible parents, and I was the horrible daughter instead.

I'm the one who never gave them the chance to speak their mind. I'm the one who always interpreted their efforts negatively...

When they sighed at me, I assumed that they were tired of me. When they yelled at me, I assumed that they hated me. When they didn't stop me from leaving, I assumed that they didn't want me anymore.

I was too blinded by anger to see the truth back then, but now that I know it... I can't get myself to wake up and change a thing.

I just hope it's not too late for me to apologise.

...

Days passed with mom or dad staying closely by my side, and I heard every little conversations that they made. Some were just among themselves and some were directed to me. I listened to every detail as they talked to me in a gentle, affectionate way.

It was their love that I finally felt again through spoken words.

Sometimes, Mom would start crying and begging me to wake up again, other times, she would calmly talk about the memories when I was a kid, and things like how she felt bad for caning me when I didn't play the piano right. Apparently, she was ordered by her in-laws (aka my grandma) to do that because they believed it was the best way to discipline me.

With only Mom by my side today, she talked about how Dad was a severe workaholic with a reason too.

There were a lot of things I never knew about - like how his business partner had betrayed him at one point and left him with a debt to clear so he had been spending the past few years trying to rebuild the company while paying off the debt himself. He never trusted anyone who wasn't family because of that incident, which explained why he was so desperate getting me to learn the business so that I could take over.