Explosions [h.s.] (Wattys 2015)

[10] All I Want

I finish putting the last of my things in my suite case for the big day tomorrow. I grab my suite case and turn off my bedroom lights, making my way into the front room. I set my black suite case next to the door so I can head out the door without any trouble. I go to sit down on my couch but there's a loud knock at my door.

I sigh getting up from the couch and dragging my feet on the floor as I go to answer the door. I answer the door feeling irritated as I open the door to see Lindsay. Her blonde hair falls perfectly around her shoulders as her dark green eyes look at me. She wears dark skinny jeans and a long black and white sweater that tugs her fit body. I let her in my apartment building so she can get room. I shut the door not saying a word to her.

It's been a week since I last saw or talk to her. I mean why should I? She moved on with her life, she has a fiancé now and is going to have his baby. Now it's my turn to move on. We're going on tour tomorrow for six months only getting a couple of breaks to spend time with our family. We want different things, at least that's what she wants.

I wanted to be hers, to give her the best life that she never had. I mean yeah her dad's a senator for London, and got everything that she asked for. Lindsay just wanted to be loved and have somebody care about her, and she did Jake and I. And she loved us for that but she wanted a father to protect her, a mother to talk to when she had boy problems. Yet she didn't get that, her father was always busy and never really had time to spend with Jake and her, and their mom left when she was seventeen. It effected them greatly when their parents got divorced and their mom just left them without saying goodbye.

And here we are, she's a thousand times different then she was four years ago. She's only twenty one and yet she has her life planned out because she doesn't want to be alone anymore. And to be honest I don't really blame her, everybody she cared about left her bleeding in the dark. I take in a deep breath waiting for her to go first.

"Harry," Lindsay whispers. "I'm sorry for screwing are friendship up. I was upset, I needed somebody and he was there for me."

I look down at the ground. "You don't have to apologize. It's your life Lindsay your a big girl now. You can take care of yourself I get it."

"No, you don't get!" Lindsay says as she walks closer to me.

"What don't I get Lindsay?" I ask, getting annoyed.

"Everything Harry. You get everything you want, you have everything you want." Lindsay announce her green eyes looking towards me.

"Everything I want?" I ask, with a laugh.

This girl really has no idea. I don't have everything that I want. I mean I have some of it but not all of it.

"Yes Harry, you have the fame, the money, the girls, the fans, everybody wants a piece of Harry Styles." She loudly states crossing her hands against her chest.

"I don't have everything that I want." I angrily shout at her. "Because if I did I would have you. Because all I want is you Lindsay. And I can't have you because you getting married and your having his baby."

"I'm not pregnant." Lindsay whispers.

"Your what?" I ask getting confused.

"I'm not pregnant." Lindsay repeats again.

"You told us you were pregnant." I state with shock.

"I thought I was, it was a false alarm."

I stay quiet as I try to put it all togher. So she's not pregnant with his child? But why would she tell me? I think to myself.

"Why are you telling me this?" I challenge raising an eyebrow.

"Because I thought you should know. You were so hurt last week at the breakfast I could see it in your eyes Harry." Lindsay adds, pulling me into a hug.

"Does he know your here?" I ask, biting my lower lip.

"No," Lindsay whisper.

"You should go back home to him." I reply to her.

"I don't want to." She whispers in my ear.

"You can stay here for as long as you need. I have food and everything. I uh need to lay down soon I have to get up early." I state pulling away from her.

"Okay,"

"You can take my room. I'll take the guest room." I tell her moving towards my bedroom.

"Harry I can take the-" She goes to protest but I cut her off.

"No Lindsay, your taking my bedroom." I order her.

I turn on my bedroom light picking up a couple of things off the ground. I go over to my dresser and pull out a shirt for Lindsay. I hand it to her and she takes it a smile on her face.

"Um, my bathroom is right there so you can take a shower. Help yourself to anything you want to use." I maintain pointing at my bathroom.

"Thank you Harry." Lindsay whispers walking into my bathroom.

"It's what friends are for." I say back.

"I'm just going to be out in the front room if you need anything." I shout at her.

The water turns on as I make my way out towards my living room. I put on a movie to kill time as I wait for Lindsay to be done. After a while Lindsay comes out wearing my black t-shirt, it covers her underwear. I turn off the TV as soon as I see the time 10:00 pm. I say goodnight to Lindsay telling her to help herself to anything she may need or want. I slide under the covers letting warmth take over my body as I lie a wake.

I toss and turn trying to get comfortable in the bed. After twenty minutes I give up of trying to get comfortable. The door cracks open revealing a little bit of light, I get up as Lindsay creeps in. She shuts the door behind her as she makes her way towards me. I slide over giving her room to get in the bed with me. Lindsay puts her head on my chest as I wrap my arms around her tiny little figure.

I know I shouldn't do this but I can't help it she's my best friend. Her breath is slow as she just lays there. Her hand is on my chest as she brushes her finger tips gently against my smooth skin. I decide not to wear a shirt because I was to hot.

"I'll miss you Harry." Lindsay breaks the silence.

"I'll still see you. Besides you're always welcome to our shows when ever you want. You know that." I say with a chuckle.

"I miss this."

"Me too." I say playing with a string of her golden blonde hair.

"I love you Harry. I really do." She whispers.

"I love you too Lindsay. Maybe somewhere in the future we can be together?" I say with a smile.

"How about now?" Lindsay chuckles.

"I don't think Greyson would like that."

"He doesn't control me." Lindsay adds, her hot breath on my chest.

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A/N- OMG I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I'm dedicating this chapter to the fantastic LoveHS1D for all the amazing support!