Lost In My Head, Found In My Heart

Casey - Chapter 3

Another week, another day in the park. Casey had really needed something to look forward to, after this week, because this week was an especially rough one. Not only did he have an algebra test, a chemistry test and the physical fitness test in gym, but also his mother wasn't feeling well and missed work Thursday and Friday. He offered to stay home with her, but she wouldn't hear of it. She insisted she'd be okay, and he needed to keep up on his school work in order to graduate this spring. So, he made sure she was set with meds and enough fluids to keep hydrated, then went to school and hid in plain sight as always. In fact, the only time he lifted his eyes lately was to keep an eye out to see if Chase went to school here. Then, he'd snort and say what does it matter? It's not like Chase would ever talk to me.  He'd probably call me a fag and get his other jock friends to beat me up. At this thought, he would drop his eyes to the floor again and just shake his head.

By Saturday, his mother was feeling better though not steady on her feet. He almost considered not going to the park but after checking with his mother and having her reassurance that she was just going to rest and sleep, he said that he'd only be gone maybe a half hour. Then, he told her the same thing he always did when she asked, that he was going to the library. She told him to be careful, stopped to cough a bit and then told him she'd be okay alone until he got back. He kissed her cheek and said 'Love ya'. She said it back to him, smiling, and then nudged him towards the door, saying I'll be fine. Stop worrying over me. Who's the mom here? Casey chuckled over that, feeling a little better since his mom sounded well enough to joke. He paused by the door looking back at her and shaking his head and grinning, he finally headed out to the park.

He was half way to the park before he realized he didn't have his book. He stopped and thought what do i do now? He couldn't go back because his mom would ask why he was back so soon and also he'd miss seeing Chase. He looked around trying to think of something, when he spied a newsstand and decided a newspaper was better than nothing. Beside, it was all he could really afford, considering his mom was missing work. He wished his mom would let him get a job but she insisted on him concentrating on his school work until he graduated. Once school was out and he had graduated, he could look for something to help with the bills. So, a newspaper it was.

Casey rushed on to the park and sat under his tree. This was lame, pretending to read a newspaper but at least he could cover his face enough to hide that fact he was watching someone. He checked his watch, then looked to the west entrance and soon after, Chase arrived. Instead of running right away, Chase seemed to be on his phone. That was different. But he wasn't on it long before he tucked it away and started his stretches. Soon, he was on his way around the park. The day was a little cooler so he wouldn't be dripping in sweat but maybe his shirt would be a little wet with sweat. He completed his first lap but didn't even seem to notice Casey had a newspaper instead of a book. Casey scoffed at himself. Why would he? He doesn't even know I exist. Lost in his thoughts, he almost missed his phone ringing. It was from his mother. He jumped to his feet as he answered it. His mom sounded weak and disoriented. He frantically said I'll be right there. Panic was gripped his heart, and he started moving without looking around. Suddenly, he bounced off of someone, almost ending up on the ground. He looked up and saw that he'd run into Chase. Under other circumstances, he might have taken the time to talk to him but all he could do was apologize, pick up his phone and rush home, leaving a stunned Chase behind.

When he arrived at his home, he had no memory of the trip there. His mind had been a swirl of scenarios and fears. What would he find at home? Was his mom alright? What if she needed to go to the hospital...and could they afford that? He rushed in and called out to his mom, but she doesn't respond. He discovered her unconscious on the kitchen floor. He pulled out his phone and tried to unlock it but couldn't. He realized that the screen shot wasn't his. His mind was at a loss to figure out what that meant. Finally, he grabbed his mom's out of her purse and dialed 9-1-1. The operator told him that paramedics were on the way. Then, he carried his mom to the sofa and whispered reassurance to her until someone knocked on the door. He left the paramedics in, and they began to work on his mom. Soon, they had her loaded onto the gurney with an IV in place. He asked was told that he could ride in the ambulance with her, so he locked up the house and climbed in. He had to stay out of the way but was able to clasp her right hand. A few squeezes from his mother let him know that she knew he was there and also gave him hope that she was going to be okay. Well, she had to be. The thought of her not being there for him terrified him.

When they arrived at the hospital, his mother was taken into an exam room, and he had to go to the desk to fill out paperwork. As  he looked over the clipboard of paperwork, his vision began to blur with tears. He felt himself falling apart. Suddenly, he was startled as 'his' phone began to ring. He looked at the screen which said it was his phone number so he swiped the screen and hit answer. He tentatively said hello but it was so soft they probably didn't hear him. The caller said hello...hello. He cleared his throat and said hello again, louder this time. There was a hitch to his voice because his throat was scratchy from his sobs. The caller asked who this was which was weird since they called him, but of course, they had his phone and he obviously had theirs. He said it's Casey...Casey Huffman. Who's this? The caller responded it's Chase...Chase McDonnell. I think you have my phone. He suddenly remembered colliding with Chase in the park. All he could say is, oh. Chase said, where are you? Maybe we could meet and swap phones. Casey said, I'm at the hospital emergency room. There's a lengthy silence on the phone. Then, Chase said, oh...are you alright? Casey said, yeah, I'm okay. My mom is here. He couldn't say anymore because if he did, he'd lose it again. Chase said, how about I swing by and bring you your phone? Casey weakly said, okay. He would need it to contact his mom's brother and sister. Chase said, I'll see you in about twenty minutes. Casey nodded, then said okay.

Casey finished the paperwork and waited for them to call him back to see his mom. His mind was in a fog, so time seem to pass without any sense of passing. The sounds of suffering were all around and suddenly he felt very much alone and wished he could curl up in his mother's lap and this pain and fear would just go away. He had his elbows on his knees with his face resting in the palms of his hands when he heard his name. Casey? Someone said. He sprang to his feet, looking around and there stood Chase.