Lost In My Head, Found In My Heart

Chapter 14 - Casey and Chase

As they walked out the door, it was apparent that Chase had called for an Uber driver. It was idling along the curb in front of Casey's home. Chase moved towards the car and opened the door for Casey to climb in. Then, Chase slid inside, which meant that Casey had to slide over. Chase leaned forward and gave the driver the club name, then sat back. Casey's nerves were getting the best of him.  He found himself looking out the window and bouncing his knee. But his whole body stilled and his mind raced when Chase put a hand on his bouncing knee and told him to relax. It'll be cool. Casey swallowed a lump in his throat and asked, "Have you been to this club before?"

Chase laughed and said, "Only once before." His laugh seemed a little strained, and Casey turned, first looking at the hand that was still on his knee, then at Chase. Chase moved his hand to his own knee and tried to smile. Failing at that, he turned to look out his own window. Seeing their destination, he pointed out the windshield and said, "Hey, we're here."

Chase moved to exit the ride quickly and headed to the door. Casey had to slide over quickly and then struggle to catch up to Chase. It was like Chase was trying to get away from Casey. Maybe he had some friends here and didn't want it to look like they were together. That thought made Casey stop and reconsider going inside. Chase was walking in the door when he finally looked back to see where Casey was. Casey suddenly was frozen with fear. Maybe some of Chase's friends were inside waiting to beat Casey up for something he'd done. Maybe he'd given off a sign about liking Chase, and he was being lured here to teach him a lesson about it. Without a moment's hesitation, Casey turned and bolted down the street. He rounded the corner and saw a bus stop. He stood there trying to will the bus to show up now. Hopefully, Chase hadn't seen him leave, so he wouldn't find him here. No such luck. He heard Chase calling his name as he rounded the corner. Fear froze him in place like a deer in the headlights. He looked around and saw a few good escape routes, so if Chase's friends rounded the corner, he could still get away as long as he could outrun Chase. 

As Chase jogged up to him, breathing heavy puffs of steam in the evening air, he asked, "Hey, Casey, where are you going?" 

Fearing to meet his eyes, Casey slips his hands into his pockets and drops his eyes to the pavement. "I-I'm feeling a little tired. I think I'll just head home."

Chase was confused. "I thought you were going to let me show you some fun?" He reached out to touch Casey's shoulder and saw the obvious flinch. "Casey, what's wrong? Did I do something to make you uncomfortable?"

Casey struggled to contain emotions. But tears began to blur his vision, so he just shook his head. He didn't trust his voice to not betray him. 

"Casey, what's wrong?" 

The genuine concern in Chase's voice made Casey look up. Chase saw the wrecked look and became concerned. "Is it your mom? Are you worried about her?"

Again, Casey shook his head, then dropped his eyes. 

"C'mon, buddy. Tell me what's wrong."

Now the tears brought along sobs that shook his body and he felt embarrassed. To his surprise, Chase wrapped his arms around him and pulled him tight to his chest. He whispered, "It's okay. You can tell me," even as his left hand found it's way into Casey's hair just above his neck. When Casey's sobs had lessened, Chase, who had spied a diner across the street, convinced Casey to go there. They crossed the street, Chase's arm across Casey's shoulders. 

As they entered, Casey moved free of Chase's arm and moved into the closest booth. He sank to the seat as if all his bones had turned to rubber. His eyes were fixed on the table top where his hands laid, palms down, with his bangs falling over his face. He was so ashamed of how he'd broken down at the bus stop. Of course, Chase isn't the sort of guy to beat him up. But he has friends that are jocks and they might not like seeing me hanging out with Chase. His freak out wasn't justified there, but in the long term, this couldn't last. He was scared. Scared to let anyone close to him. He was scared he'd be alone for the rest of his life. Hell, if something happened to his mom, he'd really be alone. He didn't have any sibling or aunts and uncles, so no cousins either. If he fell off the earth, there'd be no one to miss him. How pathetic was that?

When the waitress sat sodas on the table, he realized that Chase has ordered him something to drink. He mumbled a thank you and took a sip. He glanced up at Chase and saw the concern on his face. He decided he needed to be honest with Chase and with himself. 

"Sorry I ran off like that. I guess I'm not really a sociable person. It's just been me and my mom for a few years now." 

Chase reached across the table and placed a hand on his. "Hey, that's okay. I didn't realize something like that might freak you out."

"Anyway, I think I'm going to head home. You don't need to be seen with a basket case like me. It probably wouldn't be good for you image."

But as he went to stand, Chase gripped his hand. His eyes are slightly squinted, and he's looking at Casey like he's trying to see something beyond what he can see. "That's not what's bothering you. I mean, the way you flinched when I touched your shoulder at the bus stop, you didn't...it was almost like you thought I was going to hurt you."

Casey opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to answer Chase, but he couldn't come up with anything. 

"Were you hurt before...by someone you thought was a friend?"

Now, Casey's eyes became watery again and he sank back down onto the bench seat. The tears began to erode his defenses. He wanted to tell Chase about the abuse, but he'd kept it bottled up for so long, he didn't know if he could. Finally, he just nodded. 

Smoothly, Chase slid out from his side of the table and slid in beside Casey. Again, Casey broke down on Chase's shoulder. Chase looked up at the waitress as she approached with the food. He mouthed that he needed it to go. She smiled and nodded back. 

Checking the time, he knew that the Weavers would be gone, so he pulled his wallet out using just one hand. As the waitress approached with the bagged food, he gave her a twenty and a ten. She said she'd be right back with the change but he told her to keep it. She smiled again, only sparing a passing glance at the boy on his shoulder. He smiled back and then coaxed Casey to his feet. He said, "Let's go somewhere else to talk, okay?" Casey nodded against his shoulder before standing up. Chase asked Casey to grab the food while he texted for an Uber ride. Then, slowly they walked outside. It was on maybe ten minutes before the ride showed up and they climbed into the back seat of the minivan. All of the playful energy seemed to have left Casey and he laid his head down on Chase's shoulder the entire trip back to Chase's house.