One night can change everything...

After thoughts

It was raining outside. Which wasn't that unusual. But considering that they lived in Los Angeles, it wasn't something typical. So he opted for training inside the institute. Throwing knives into targets and practicing different fighting techniques with Mark. Normally, he would be training with Emma. But she hadn't been here this morning. In fact he was sort of avoiding her.  They had jumped over the line of 'just friends' to more than that. If there were even a word for that.  After what happened with her, he was scared of facing her. Being together with her was all he had ever wanted. So when the moment had presented itself they both risked it and had been one together. And now things just seemed off with them. He didn't and would never regret being with her.  But the question was did she? That's how he found himself avoiding her. The risk of being rejected and hurt were too much for him. He couldn't lose her; not ever. She was more than just his best friend and parabatai.

Emma was and is his first love and he was certain that he would and could never love anyone the way that he loves her. If she didn't feel the same way...he would be devastated. If what she wanted was to remain friends and to forget that night had ever happened, then he would. Even if it felt like someone put his heart in a blender and shredded it to a million pieces. All he wanted was for her to be happy. --------------------------------------------------------------

  "Emma, breathe! You have to calm down. Deep breaths." Pacing back and forth in the living room hadn't helped as much as she thought. But the panic had set in and she was hyperventilating. "Sit down, please. I'll go get you some water." Words couldn't form in her head at the moment. So she nodded and went to sit on the couch. Breathing as Clary had suggested was slowly starting to work. "Here take small  sips." Handing her the bottle water she uncapped it and took some sips. It helped with her nerves and her headache. After some minutes later the silence was broken when Clary spoke to her. "So, have you thought about what you're going to do now?" "I...I don't know." Her voice came out small and defeated. Which she was never. "I hadn't planned on this happening to me at such a young age. I'm 21 and pregnant.  Pregnant. Wow, that's a strange word to use in a sentence." "You know, you don't have to figure this out all today. Take time to think everything through. And you're more than welcome to stay here tonight. We have extra rooms." "Thank you. You've been so amazing. I still need time to think things through. And I have to discreetly figure out a way to make a doctors appointment without anyone finding out." "You're very welcome. And that offer doesn't have an expiration date." Walking her to the door she hugged her tight. "Thank you again. I hope that I'm not bothering you. I just don't really have anyone that I can turn to." "You could never bother me. And anytime. Just please keep me in touch with everything. And if you have any questions or need me to go with you to any appointments let me know." Nodding she went out the door and headed back to the institute. Maybe the walk there could help her think about things. --------------------------------------------------------------