As It Should Be

Chapter 15

I'll admit it, I've felt like every guy I've been with was the one and I would without a doubt open up my heart to them. My heart would always be ripped out of my chest and flung in my face then I'd be alone again feeling less than. The sperm donor (the name I gave Jay's biological father) was the last culprit. He hurt me so bad I built a fortress to keep my heart safe.

Ren has since replaced every bad memory and redefined what true love is. Since that night of the helicopter ride it's been nonstop snuggling and heavy petting. The chair swing has been our prime snuggling and make out spot. Ren's hands are amazing and  began to rekindle forgotten feelings of intimacy in me slowly.

It's cheesy I know but I really want us to wait until our wedding night to make love. I want it to be special and different for  both of us. However, it has been getting more and more difficult to stick with the plan, because boy do I want to jump his bones! Although, the way we've been connecting on other levels, God forbid if something was to happen to either of us and we could never make love again; we'll survive.

My birthday's coming up and its usually one of my dullest days, so I've planned a trip this year. I  heard good things about New Zealand and did my research; that's where the whole family  will spend my birthday. Even though it's January and about 20° here it's one of their warmer months. We leave in three days for a three day weekend. 

Jay isn't home from school yet, Ren's on a video conference call in his office and now I'm meeting with Chase to get wedding updates.
The venue looks like a castle with a beautiful botanical garden for pictures. Ren and I still can't agree on the flavor of the cake and I'm not sure how many tiers I want. The only thing that's certain for both of us is absolutely no fondant; HATE IT. 

Tomorrow we're doing more cake tasting and I go for another fitting for my dress. Growing up I've never really thought about my wedding day much but I've always said the dress would have to be royal purple and Chase's Italian designer is doing his thing. I mean he's incorporated all of my ideas in the dress and then some I should have went to him first.

The first draft was done by some popular guy from Rome, he talked a good game but his designs sucked ass. He didn't follow any of my instructions or used any of my ideas, it needed a lot of corrections.
Instead of owning his crappy ideas he implied I lose weight.  I was 5'10 at 140lbs before and after the fitting nothing had changed but his attitude. 

I may or may not had left the door open and left the garment on the floor and Missy ripped it to shreds. It looked like it was turned into confetti and I couldn't stop laughing. The design was trash and was treated as such. I watched him and his assistants pick up every last shred of fabric, then showed him the door. 

Chase was a breath of fresh air, he was doing a heck of a job. Whether or not he was working to get a bonus he's going to get a hefty one. He's thinking of things I wasn't even paying attention to. Like whether kids were invited, arrangements for the tables, where were people getting dressed and a long list of other things. I was already over it I told him it was all in his hands, as long as my dress is perfect I'm good.

I hadn't noticed how much time had gone by and I find Ren in the kitchen showing Jay how to saute. These two... they've almost become attached at the hip and its the sweetest thing to watch. Ren looks up and sees me leaning on door frame watching them and tosses some grapes at me. He motions for me join them but I'm content just watching them getting along. Cooking isn't my thing anyway, I love cleaning and with no Miriam around the kitchen's mine for the taking. Then its more snuggling with my Ren.