As It Should Be

Chapter 22

The day Ren and I dreamed about is here, we're standing in front of Pastor Jenna Hornsby in the rose garden. Chase had to  book her at the last minute, due to a family emergency with our regular Pastor. I'll forever say it; dude did a heck of a job. This day is everything I imagined it would be and so much more. 

"That vow was a wonderful expression of your love Ren,  now Hanna it's your turn "

I look up at Ren standing there smiling with uncontrollable happiness in his tuxedo looking so damn handsome. Good God when you made this man you did well, thank you!

"Ren wh...."

My voice disappears, I clear my throat and start again

"wh... "

I look up at Ren but the sun behind him is so bright now I can't see his face. He seems to be fading in the distance but I can hear him calling my name and its getting louder but he's slipping further away. I start to heave and collapse on the floor.
Air, I need air! Jesus air!

My eyes shoot open and it's a mad dash from the sofa to the bathroom

"HANNA??!"

Ren's at the door, I try to answer and up comes my meal almost missing the toilet. 
The clock is showing 10:20 PM, I'm still living this god awful day.

"Babe please open the door"

"Co-"

And there's the rest of the dessert followed by more heaving.

"Hanna I WILL break this door down open up now PLEASE"

"Coming, I'm coming"

My voice is weak and I'm having the shakes, I hate panic attacks.  I unlock the door and Ren pours in and reaches for me. I make my way to the sink and splash my face with cold water. 

"Christ, Hanna it looks like you caught a virus you don't look well"

My knees buckle but Ren's arms are already holding me up

"I think I'm OK now" 

"Sure?"

"Yup...nope"

I dash to the toilet but there was nothing left, just more dry heaving. Ren's rubbing my back through the heaving and seconds later I sink to the floor. Ren slides up behind me and puts a cold rag on my forehead. He's so good to me; I turn slightly to face him.

"Ren do you really think we can make a marriage work?"

Concern washes over his face

"Hanna why is this an issue now?"

"Your mother just has me thinking; I mean what if this is all a big mistake?

"What the hell happened in that bathroom?"

I  told him some of the things his mother said and how it made me take a step back, to really think about what we were planning to do.

I start to feel sick again, I need more cold water. 

"I already know what I need and I'm very confident in my decision to marry you because I'm in love with every bone in your body if I had doubts I would have never asked. 
Hanna do you still want to marry me?"

"Of course I do, b-" 

"That's all I need to know. I'll fix this, I hate seeing you like this I need my bright spark back. I promise I'll fix it, so no more doubts and no worrying. Look at you trying to bear burdens on your own. You're not allowed to do that anymore, I'm here for the good and the bad"

"Fine, but we need some premarital counseling. I want us to really be prepared, to start on a solid foundation."

"Yes ma'am I'm 100% for it"

He does a silly salute and tries to kiss me but I place my hand over his mouth

"Ren, you do remember why I've been in the bathroom right?"

"Like that could ever stop me"

"That's gross"

"Well damn it I'm gross" 

He puts kisses all over my face even though I'm fighting him off. He squeezes my cheeks to unpurse my lips and kisses them.

"Mmm yummy"

"Ugh! it's time for you to go!"

He helps me up from the floor and holds me tight.

"After all is said and done, we will be okay Hanna"

I held him a little tighter before letting go, then he left so that I could shower.

I slip into comfy pjs and go to our favorite spot on the enclosed balcony. I'm seriously thinking about sleeping there tonight.

Ren's already there reading and apparently waiting for me. Literally seconds after I sit and snuggle up beside him, I hear light snoring. This man does not play around with his sleep. In his defense, this has been an eventful day. I snuggle closer and join him in dreamland.