EPHEMERAL

Ephemeral: Smile

"How are you feeling?"

I sat there, for a long time. And for a long time, I grew tired of this unnecessary routine. My mother thinks I'm insane while the psychiatrist sitting across from me with crossed arms and laid-back cushion constantly reminds me that I'm not, but is rather sick, and in need of medical treatment for my hallucinations.

Those stars are not a figment of my imagination.

"Nova?" He calls out.

I look back at him as he smiles softly. How I hate that smile. "I'm good, so let's cut back at this ineffective talk because yes, I still see the smiling stars. I see it ever since I was a kid, I see it now and I see it every day."

He purses his lips and interlocks his palms above the desk as he spoke further. "How come you're the only one who sees it? Does its existence make sense to you?"

It does exist.

"Fine. If it truly does. Would you describe it to me? How do these clusters of stars form a smile?"

"I told you the first time I came here. As I said, all my answers remain the same. And if you can't still picture it, maybe you should check the illustrations my mother provided." I replied nonchalantly.

He knew this conversation won't go anywhere. "You see, Nova. You have to realize your delusion. Take a break and just stare at the stars carefully. Just-" He inhales sharply. "You know, take a deep breath and analyze it. There is always a contradiction in every illusion. When you see it, come to me. It's not too late to seek help."

"I don't need your help."

"And it doesn't mean you're a weak person if you do so." He added.

As soon as my mom picked me up, I went inside the car ignoring her. "So, what did you and Dr. Connors talk about?" She asks not curious but only breaking the silence.

"That you showed him my sketches and portraits?"

"You knew?" Now her tone of voice changed attentively, her mouth agape.

"I didn't."

She frowned as we drove in silence. I rolled down the window. I can't help but remember what Dr. Connors said a while ago.

"You know, take a deep breath and analyze it. There is always a contradiction in every illusion. When you see it, come to me. It's not too late to seek help."

So, I stared. My eyes lingered so long against the sun that my vision turned dark.

Contradiction? what a load of bull.

I smiled at the smiling star and just as I did, something explodes right behind us. The car stopped abruptly; I was almost tossed from my seat. I hissed when my ears rung, and multiple cars were honking furiously, debris were falling right above us, completely denting the car and cracking the front glass. My mom screamed in panic.

"Jesus Christ!"

My mom drove to a safe distance. We stopped on the side of the road - just as the others did. She strolled outside. Her eyes growing bigger by the second with her mouth open in shock. "The building exploded!" She screamed.

I looked behind the car, refusing to go outside. The entire psychiatric building collapsed. Maybe I was as surprised as my mother but not hysterical.

"Mom, let's go home."

"But... Dr. Connors."

"--is dead." I finished for her.

She glared at me while tears sprung to her eyes. "How could you say such thing?!" Her voice laced with disappointment. I wonder why I cannot empathize like the others.